THESE THREE WORDS....Parts 1 & 2

Pt. 1

Standing there...looking down at you....
Should I just take my clothes off, and jump back in bed ...or leave while I can.  One mind says go.  And the other says stay......how can you walk away from all that?  Shaking my head, while inhaling the aroma of your...well, our bodily fluids mixed together and floating through the air.  The taste of you, still fresh on my tongue.  I raise my hands to my face and smell my palms, my fingers once again....sighing.  That lasting scent of the magic moments we just created.  The sweet sweat...mmmmmmmm  Thinking, just one more time...
I sit down on the side of the bed, looking at you.  Your relaxed body is laid out, sleeping.  I rub my hand across your behind, and up & down your back, softly, as not to awaken you.  My fingertips tingling at contact of your silky skin.  Your body still moist and warm, yet, reclined.  A faint snore seeps from you, as I lay back down beside you, helplessly drawn to your allure.  Remembering you got your hair done yesterday, and looking at it now, I'm laughing.   It's a mess!  LOL.  But, I enjoyed helping you mess it up. 
I'm thinking about how much I love you...how good you make me feel.  I know I keep telling you that I don't want to get serious, but I can feel my own feelings deepening.  Daily.  In my heart, I know I'm falling in love with her.  But will I tell her....will she soon find out that I would rather be with her, than going home every so often.  Because, truthfully, sometimes, I cannot tear myself away.  After a evening of fun, shopping, or playing cards with friends; or, maybe a dinner, and a movie...I can't bear to leave you.  And I think you feel it, too.  And you say, "stay".  And I'm like a kid with a new toy.  But, when we talk about getting serious, like face to face--I clam up.  I change the subject....

On my way home, I'm thinking.  Many thoughts going through my mind.  What if we do get together...what if I do move in with her, and we don't get along...I don't really belong in her world.  My own life has been much simpler than hers.  She graduated from College to her own business, garnering two degrees.  She has made a name for herself in the fashion world.  She lives with the big wigs in the swankiest parts of town.  While I barely made it through college, and work in management training, in an office full of hungry people who all are fighting to get ahead.  I live modestly, in a uptown apartment building, and the only name I have made for myself is good friend, Mother of one natural child, and many soul children.  She drives the finest, and I have this late model that barely makes it most days.  I always compare our backgrounds, and she always says, "it only bothers you, dear"  Hmmmm
Seems like time passed so quickly, and I'm back on my side of town.  It's midnight, yet people are still walking up, and down the street.  The music is blasting upstairs....sounds like a party.  I'm at the trunk getting my things, and I hear someone call out to me..."what you bring me?"  It's one of my kids.  "I brought you some sleep".  LOL.  On the way to the door, I wave her goodnight, and retire to my humble abode. 
I can see my messages light blinking from the door.  Sitting down by the phone, and, after taking my shoes, and coat off...  I listen to the messages...   Bills.. Bills, my sister, nahhh, I don't wanna talk to you..  ok, my Cd came in....   "hey, hope you got home safely, call me when you get in." Smiling.  Now see--that's my baby.  I'm thinking she asleep, and she worried about me getting home safe.   WOW  I fall back across the bed, grinning, as I pick up the phone to call

 

 

part 2

  "Hello"
The voice on the other end of the phone is one of pure sensuality.  The way she says, "hey baby",  just melts me.  Hello,  I thought you were asleep,  so I didn't dare wake you.  "I was...just I heard your car start,  and I woke up.  I walked to the window to watch you pull off."  You did?  "yes, I did;  had to make sure the doors were locked also."   And,  were they?   "yesssss..."  I did good,  then....  "You were better than  good,  and you know it...mmmm....I don't know what got into you tonight.  You charmed a sistah's panties off ,  even before she had a chance to offer them up"   LOL.  Did I do that...or was a sistah subtly peeling them off for me...  Either way,  baby, you were great,  and so loving, and so damn sexxy.... 
Every night,  it gets harder and harder to let you go.  One of these days,  it's not gonna be like this.  "yeah,  yeah,  yeah....that's what your mouth says...anyway, baby...I'm going to sleep now;  I see you're safe at home,  and I have an early day tomorrow.  I have a meeting with the buyers at 7;  I have to be in my office by 6:30.  You get some sleep, too.  Don't be online all night, cuz I know your butt gonna get on there ...."  LOL.  "don't laugh, I know you.  Don't make me come on invisible, and catch you doing your dirt...."  Awww,  baby...don't think that.  I might get on,  and check my email,  that's all..then I'm going to bed too.  You kinda wore me out, remember?  "Yes,  I got scratches,  and  swollen lips to remind me"    Muahhh... 
The sound of a sweet kiss can be heard coming from her end of the phone , as she said, "GN Baby, talk to you in the morning"  Gn, I love you.  "I love you more..."  Click.  hmmmmm. 
I log on to my email, and I see junk,  junk,  junk.  Hmmmm.  Wait a minute.....  No she didn't;  a letter from Nicole.  I was just asking a friend about her last week.  Says she is in town for the Spring Festival.  But that's not til the first week in June;  what's she doing here this early.  "Hi Jay,  how's it going?   Still playing hard to get?   I talked to your sister last week,  and she said you aren't doing anything but working.   She never even mentioned that you were dating, so who's the lucky girl?   You wouldn't give me the time of the day......so I hope you happy doing you...LMAO.  Seriously,  let's get together when I come to town;  I'd love to take you out.  We could reconnect, and reminisce......winking.   Ok, gotta run... take care  Nikki"   Hmmmm. Nikki.  Always knew she would be the one who could turn my head, no matter which way it was looking.  But,  I'm not gonna mess this up with my baby,  not when I think she juusssttt might be the one for me.  But I will have dinner with her. 
Couldn't hurt nothing, right?  Right.  Ok, time for bed.  After checking the doors, and turning the lights off,  I strip, turn on the radio,  and jump into bed.  Lying there in the darkness,  I begin to think about the day--how long it seemed.  And my evening with Betty. The awesome time we had together.  And I think to myself...what a wonderful world.  It would only be more wonderful if we could finally be going in the same direction, at the same time.  But, never mind..tomorrow is another day. 
I turn on my side, whisper my prayers...turn out the light.  And, I'm sleep before my head hits the pillow....