I'm So Open

Hey JayBee
its me
I'm here
so open to your pen
willing to climb in….
and begin
this position you thought I didn't wanna be in
think again, my friend
the best laid plans
are those
in which you never show your hand
I hope you understand
I am the prey
that wanted
to be hunted
I went through all this
to make you come correct me
poetically dissect me
erotically disrespect me

My desire is only to please
Those other girls...
merely a tease
See....I'm coming
crawling
slowly
seductively
just like you like...
on my hands and knees
I don’t give a fuck who sees
whatever you got to give
give it to me
I'm ready to fulfill the heat of your lust
Punish me with no sympathy
every sexual desire
I will fulfill
In this you can trust
Lay me
play me
sexually slay me
burn me up with your fire
fuckin’
and suckin’
asses bucking
I can’t stop now
I don’k even know how
I always knew
I’d enjoy being conquered by you

See, I’m through playing nice
Now I know good girls finish last
I've paid the price
I'm moving into my realm
There's nothing else to prove
to her.. or to him
to none of them
I plan to sink
while you swim
in my desire for shameless sin.
Yes, I'm so ready to play
For a night with you...
Shit, I'm even willing to pay

graciously I will dine
on whatever dish you serve
giving in to your every desire
Is the only way to live
I will give my soul to your pen
I’m just that fuckin’ open
whenever you need me
however you want it done
I plan to show you I’m the one
scratch this itch
I'm dying to be
your bottom bitch

Here I am JayBee

From The Moment I Saw You....(SP EXERCISE...ROMANCE ME)

 

I knew it
You were going to be
in my life
First,
there was that nervous feeling
My words stuttered
through my nervous lips
I saw visions of us
in my mind
doing things together
Like going shopping
and taking trips
You
completely took my heart
by storm
And, I knew it was different
than just infatuation
from that moment on
Because it was
'not' just about
getting your sex
You know
how they size you up
to what you working with
How you would look
in their arms
What you said to them
and, could you back it up
We didn't have to go there
at first
We got to know each other
slowly
I saw us
laughing together
playing cards
by the moonlight
dancing by the fireplace
on cold nights
listening to that old school
and talking
about those old times
I saw me
catching you up on my life
and you
listening to me
falling alseep on my lap
as I talked
I saw us
driving in the country
listening to the radio
singing to each other
Holding hands
singing
smiling back and forth
In those first few chats
I saw our future
in your eyes
And, whatever we did
intimately
would satisfy me
I don't doubt your abilities
one bit
I just knew
that once I had my place
cemented
in your life
That no other girls would exist
that whatever they promised you
I would do my best
to exceed
and make your wants
things of the past
We would make new memories
enjoy mutual new experiences
with each other
ones
we could look back on
years
down the road
Yeah, Baby....

you had me from the first hello

pleasant dreams....

Lying still
here in the darkness
holding you
listening to your light snore
feeling your heartbeat
against my breast
Inhaling
and exhaling
I got you
Tomorrow
is another day
It will get better
Stop
worrying so much
Can you feel me
playing in your ear
I see you frowning often
When I shift, you wake up
I'm right here
I'm not going anywhere
Go back to sleep
It's times like these
when I feel most alone
Your body is cool now
but, moments ago
when we were in the heat of passion
something was different
When you gave yourself to me
I could tell
you held back
You kept some for yourself
Afterwards
you crawled into my arms
and fell asleep
That's so unlike you
We usually talk
or laugh
or, do it again
But, I know
We will have those days
and, they will pass
Just like whatever it is
that's bothering you
hopefully,
my love
(kissing you on your forehead)
good night...

pleasant dreams

TEARS .... (A SP EXERCISE..REMEMBERING NEW ORLEANS)

 

Tears from a pain so deep
Only God could feel
Broken spirits
Loss of life
Tragedy
most of us
will never feel
dead bodies lying in the street
Heads unaccounted for
A death some will never meet
Why hast thou forsaken me
Cries at Heaven's door
and the government wonders
what they're crying for
What a horrible way to downplay
this gruesome tragedy
a fate that will be written
in the books of history
Some shifted to exiles unknown
Promises to start anew
funds to make another home
But I wonder how you would handle it
If it happened to you
Money can't heal every pain
We are the ones responsible
for giving them hope again
this thing is deeper than we can understand
Was this slain child counted
in the many who were lost
Was this mothers' tears
cried in vain..
Who will pay the cost?
As I sit in my home today
with all my comfort and ease
I have to remember...
I could at anytime be
anyone of these
whether it be a flood,
an accident
or a wrongful act of man
Let us all pray for compassion
and whenever possible...

lend a helping hand

LOVE SLAVE (A SP EXERCISE....10 WORDS)

My
undying
respect
and loyalty
to you
originates
in my augmented desire
to be
under
your spell
It is also fueled by
this one lingering truth-
the one that reminds me
that my love for you
is irrefutably
in my heart to stay
Out of all the moments
that we have shared
together,
what matters most
to me now
is the undeniable
longing
intensity
that we find
in each other's eyes
The devotion
'I'm so willing to dispatch'
that I set before your feet
fueled by
sweet adulation
which I build all my hopes upon
I wait for you
to render
my direct commands...
to unmercifully berate me
Desiring to be
lifted
and gifted
by your sensuous touch
I long
to be your martyr
for every crime of need
sex,
love
and passion
you ever thought
to commit
I happily do the time
serving
as radical
revolutionary
slave to your whims
each
and every one of them
the willing recipient
of whatever vindictive
erotic
massacre
you wish to commit
I want
all of it!

I surrender

to

your will...

A SP WEEKEND CHALLENGE...PICTURE INTERPRETATION

It's Funny now...

AS we all lay in bed laughing
But, only moments before
we had given this little bird
more than he was bargaining for.....

It's about five minutes past four
when I heard a knock on the door
Wondering who could it be
Whoever it is
isn't gonna worry the hell outta me
Oh, it's my friend and her girl
coming here to sleep
Too drunk to drive
But, I'm so glad she's alive
I told her she could crash here
a promise I intend to keep

I opened the door and went back to bed
with visions of both of them drunk in my head
Snuggling beneath the covers
trying to get back to sleep
But noises in the other room made me creep
I quietly walked past the door
Upon peeping in, I started to grin
They couldn't have been drinking that much
They were doing nasty things and such
They were going at it so hard
I wondered who was gonna win

I think my own laughter
must have slipped
because I heard one of them say
She must be listening
But I'm gonna fukk you anyway...
Ask her is she wants to join
She can get some of this 'all girl porn'
Just so happened I was bold enough to say
You damn skippy
I wanna come in and play
I been wanting some of that ass anyway

Early that morning
we left nothing to chance
We made moves
like dancers in a tribal dance
Slaying each other to tunes of lust
Satisfying the hunger within each of us
I noticed they didn't seem to mind
Using any position,
any combination
that came to our mind
Creating one hell of a sexual fuss

As sunlight was peeped into the room
The bird sat witnessing the erotic loom
I guess we gave even him a scare
We were still hard at it
doing each other 
screwing each other
like we didn't have a care
The last screams of the morning
caused such a fuss
like a bolt of lightning he was out of there
leaving feathers behind in his dust

 

 

 

 

 

why do women cry

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."
Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
" All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"
God said: " When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."
"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."
~ Author Unknown 

It's All About Our Love......Part II

I miss you
I'm sooo sad
cuz we spend less
and less time together,
the closer I get to you...
and I can't complain,
cuz I know the deal
I called about an hour ago
but I can't call from here like I used to
She ask questions
right now she likes you
and she did say I should spend time
with my own friends
and I have no problem being friendly, do I?
she real cool people
I know
I'm glad you have her
Tell me something
what you are feeling for me...
is it just like what I feel for you
how do u feel?
like I'm caught up with you
I think of you often throughout the day
maybe too much
and I get lost in dreaming of u
I catch myself
I say--hold onnnn
dont lose it
I know the feeling
She's out today
and instead of going with her
I'm here thinking of you
 laying in my bed
thinking about words..
phrases I want to say to you
.... all locked up
I wont let them out
yep, I know
just sitting here...
scared to say them
lest they become my obsession
wanting to hear your voice
wanting you to call
to hear your giggling
the way you say my name
wanting to feel your smile...
I catch myself
over and over
everytime I do it
.... what have you done to me?
I know....
its the spell you put on me
it's what have we done to each other
the bewitching
I don't know what this is
you know where this is going, right?
yesssssssssss.....lol
where..?
you know me so well...!
yes, baby...
its our song
we sing it to each others heart
Why you got me all fucked up gurl?
... cuz you like being fukked up by me
laughing in unison
Let me serenade you then
sing to me...
what you got for me?
close you eyes, and make a wish
open your heart
let me love you like no other
mmmmmmmmmmm
can you wish for me
to love you unlike any other
yes..I do everyday
and every night
before I close my eyes...

Lovers Rock...
You are the lovers rock

"..... I am in the wilderness
You are in the music
In the man's car next to me
Somewhere in my sadness
I know I won't fall apart completely

When I need to be rescued
And I need a place to swim
I have a rock to cling to in the storm
When no one can hear me calling
I have you I can sing to

And in all this
And in all my life

You are the lovers rock
The rock that I cling to
You're the one
The one I swim to in a storm
Like a lovers rock

When I need to be rescued you're there
When I need a place to swim to in a storm
I sing to you
And all my life
And in all my life..."

 

 It's all about our love....
maybe this should be our song...

It's All About Our Love...Part 1

we embrace
It's been awhile
turn around
and let me look at you
a sight for sore eyes
as we embrace
I'm looking over her shoulders
who is that driving away
oh, she's just a friend
seems she's not too keen
on letting you go
why is she driving away so slowly
who did you tell her I was
your friend girl from college
come on now
how long you gonna keep that one up
how many friend girls do you have
and if this gets more serious
what you gonna do
look at her
circling back around again
you sure she just a friend
why are you withdrawing from me
is there something you wanna say to me
like tell me the truth
like now
I'm listening
I don't like what I see in your eyes
Is that fear
or uncertainty
What are you afraid of
You're not really sure,
are you...

 

 

ISNT IT ENOUGH?

Isn't it enough
that we share our worlds
That you
are
the reason we met
Isn't it enough
that I
still find your presence
as close to Heaven
as I can get
When I close my eyes
and think of beauty
it's your face that I see
What else could you possibly want
or
require from me
As I dreamed of dancing
it was you
who swayed with me across the floor
I went shopping the weekend
It was your face
in the crowd
that I was looking for
(knowing you weren't there)
When I wanted to read
in your words
is where I could be found
I breath your spirit
into me
every day
because you're so exciting
to be around
when I think about love
I think about
us
If I need to be comforted
It's your arms
that I always seek
Even if I have to wait days
Hell,
I have waited
a whole damn week
Isn't it enough
that you have my attention
all of it
and it's your presence
your body
your laughter
that I seek...

What else do you want from me?
 

 

butterfly

beautiful

butterfly

do not turn away

from me.

you think that I do not care,

and it's all so unfair.

but take the time

to see

that you are so beautiful

still...

to me.

I feel the toil of your heart

the strain

of your seering pain

and it you find it in your heart

let me touch you..

again.

I LOVE YOU.....BUT

I Love you....But

You
are not
more important
to me than I am to me
things you ask me
to do for you
what you ask me to accept
I just cannot
The winding roads
we traveled together
brought
both of us
so much excitement
so much laughter
and fun
I could be anything
or as much
as you wanted me to be
But I refuse to be
an afterthought
Consider my feelings,
please, Baby
Being the other woman
is hard enough
already
Don't treat me like a stranger
In her presence
When you can't see me
or be with me
Can you be kind enough
to call me
When you need me
to talk,
or whatever...
consider if I'm busy,
or not
I love you so much,
but we have to make
some changes
before we end up enemies
instead of souls destined to meet
or, people who just pass on the street
filled
with so much hatred
that we lose ourselves
I would rather work it out now
than live my life
having to remember
to be so cold
when you're around
or

when you really need me....

 

A SP Exercise.....Times Three

Gracefully and humbly I tumbled into...

the murky abyss of social acquiesce
and I found myself drowning
A cold, crowded place where truth
or humility obviously do not belong
But my curiosity got the best of me
as I strolled naively along
In the distance were forms of familiarity
voices speaking words I have heard before
Landmarks that I had overlooked before
marked my position
I had no idea what I was headed for
The wind whispering words
that I, in my own cognizance, couldn't grasp
A subtle voice subconsciously spoke,
Don't you worry about what people think
they don't do it very often
If they did they would know of what they speak
I laughed, but I kept walking along the path
I wanted to see what awaited me
I took off my shoes because I was comforted
by the warmth of the midday sun
nothing to fear but fear itself, right?
not knowing my regret had just begun
Another voice, in ancillary tone
asked me where is the paradigm of truth
that you so earnestly seek?
It is not here...
You walk among nugatory negligence
Pompous imposters of purity
so willing to witness to Hell's hellacious fury
There is nothing here 
Go back!
Go back to the safety of simplicity...
the guise of goodness and grace
Do not be fooled by the smiles of smirk on their face
I'm conscious now there is need to be concerned
as I walk to my immediate doom
Deep inside of me I knew....
 
I made another bad decision

 

A SP EXERCISE.....STEP OUTSIDE YOURSELF (situation3)

Situation 3:  A young woman is sitting on a park bench outside of the local clinic in her city with tears rolling down her cheeks.  She went in for her routine HIV tests and now is holding her results in her hands.  She just found out that her results are postiive. 

What is going through her mind?

 

Damn,
there goes my life
my family
all my friends
What in the Hell do I do now?
How could this be?
Oh my God!
This can't be happening to me
I might as well be dead
I know damn well he didn't give it to me
He said there was no way
he had anything.
That he was clean
He looked clean
Damn, All for a piece of ass!
What am I gonna do?
I know
I'm gonna leave town
After a while
everyone will know
I'm gonna be sick
thin as Hell
They gonna be looking at me
Like I'm death walking
They won't wanna drink after me
They won't wanna be around me
They gonna look at me funny
Damn, took me long enough to get this shape
Now, It's all gone
My life is gone...
I'm gonna die
I can't take this!
What I got....10 years tops?
I can't kill myself....
Who can I tell?
Who would understand...
(Tears streaming down my face
uncontrollable crying...)
Wiping tears away....
Silence.

Ok, I'm not gonna kill myself
I'm not gonna run away
I'm gonna take this one day at a time
I don't know how I will tell my family
maybe I shouldn't even tell them
They will only say it's because of the way I lived
They all gonna say it's my fault
And I got this from trusting someone
and not being careful
Not protecting myself
How many ads have I seen
And thought it would never happen to me
I'm clean
I know I'm clean
I take my tests, and use precautions
But, Hell..I still got it
It...HIV+
Damn, it sounds like death
But, hey, it don't have to be...right?
They got medicines out here...
I just won't ever get sick
I will just take my meds religiously
There goes sex!
Damn
That's what got me in this predicament
I just had to have him...
I played Russian Roulette
with my own freaking life!
Now lok where I am
Probably won't even see his ass again
Maybe he don't even know
A walking time bomb
Oh my God...

what am I going to do now...

A SP EXERCISE.....STEPPING OUT OF YOURSELF (situation 1)

Situation 1:  You are woman who has been married for over twelve years with two beautiful children.  Your family is the most important part of your life and you have just caught your husband and his lover in your bed having sex. You can’t remember exactly how it happened but you are standing over the bed with a bloody knife in one hand and two dead bodies in the bed. 

What is going through your head?

 

What just happened?
Oh my God!
What have I done...
They're dead
I killed them
I killed my husband and this woman
they're dead...
What am I gonna do?
My children
I'm going to jail
All for this sorry mutha fukka
You threw everything we had down the drain
You chose her over all we have
You won't ever hurt me again
(Tears...loud criessss)
I have to dial 911
First, I have to call someone
to come get my children
I don't want them to see him like this
Or this bitch in his bed
In our bed..dead
I can't move them
It'll be evidence
My God, I killed my husband!
Please forgive me, Lord
I just lost it when I walked in the house
and heard noises in our bedroom
I knew the kids were sleep
So, I walked quietly upstairs
Before I reached the door,
I could hear moans
I thought it was a movie
thought he was masturbating
Til I heard her moaning his name
and, I snapped!
I lost it...
it's coming back to me now...
I will leave everything like it is
I'm going to jail
I'm gonna die....
Please, God, let them see he made me do it
I went insane...

 

vulnerable

sitting here,
quietly
in the periphery of happiness
time spent mourning
in the moonlight's sad luminiscence
vulnerable
as the air of oscillating doom
I have nothing left to lose
since the moment
you told me
goodbye
I searched within the depths
of my broken spirit
for just one reason why
I sat there,
as tears filled my eyes
symbolizing some form of emotion
that I now acknowledge I felt
refusing to let you know
how I ached inside
words
that could make us
or break us
I fought to hide
They could explain my actions
or arbitrate my point
I wanted to come to you
and fix the mess
but I knew that I couldn't
the deed was done
my time
supposed to be spent with you
now in jeopardy
I recede to my fate
because I was with her
I sit, looking foolish now
looking a melodramatic mess
No satisfaction does it give me now
But to let my tears fly free
on this paper,
on this moistened page...
just crying for me
Is it a shame to lose this love
before it has begun...
Why did it come to this?
Your sweet words,
symbolizing hope
even your comforting tone
God, I already miss
The nights we shared,
the tindrel place that we found
to exist together in
is now quietened
Your love was my meal,
Your words were my food
and your smile-
my drink
For dessert I savored your kiss
You knew me like no other
I was so proud to say
with a vestigial of truth
even if to myself...

I love you

 

SHE BAPTIZES ME

She Baptizes Me

 

She brings me to her
as gentle as a mother to a child
takes me in her arms
and she rocks me
She holds me close
with my head nestled in her chest
She begins to pray for me
and asks me to join
I listened to her soft whisper...
offering an even softer amen...
'every good thing I want for you
I release..
from you, Father,
to my love.
Use my hands Father
to fill this body
this heart.
I need her
and I can feel her'
She tells me
'retreat
to this place often
to renew your strength
to find the love that always remains,
that will never change'
She tells me that we create
what we want
passion
love
hope
forgiveness
answers.
And, in that moment,
I had them all
as she held me
and we held on to our love.

She laid her hands on my worries
and they disappeared
She spoke against my doubt
and how we would fulfill each other's dreams
through the love we shared,
joined together as one mind
She baptized me
in her love
again..
and in that quietness
we
prayed..

He renewed our love

Goldilocks, 2006

Goldilocks, 2006

                       

Once upon a time,

there was a little girl named Goldilocks, 
She went for a walk in Central Park. 
Pretty soon, she came upon a house. 
She knocked, and when no one said anything, she walked right in.
At the table in the living room, there were three bowls of crack cocaine. 
Goldilocks was feening.  She tasted the powder from the first bowl.
"This powder is too weak!" she exclaimed.
So, she tasted the powder from the second bowl.
"This powder is too strong," she said
So, she tasted the last bowl of powder.
"Ahhh, this powder is just right," she said happily and she snorted it all up.
After she'd hit the three bowls. she decided she was feeling a little too high. 
She wanted sex. 
So, she walked into the bathroom where she saw three men, jerking off.  
Goldilocks sat on the first dick, and tried to take it all.  
"This dick is too big!" she exclaimed.
So she sat on the second dick.
"This dick is too limp!"  she whined.
So she tried the last and smallest dick.
"Ahhh, this dick is just right," she sighed. 
But just as she settled down onto the dick to grind, it ejaculates!
Goldilocks was very tired by this time, so she went upstairs to the bedroom. 
She lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard.
Then she lay in the second bed, but it was too soft.
Then she lay down in the third bed and it was just right. 
Goldilocks fell asleep.
As she was sleeping, the owners came home.
"Someone's been snorting my cocaine ," growled the father.
"Someone's been snorting my crack," said the mother.
"Someone's been snorting my coke, and they burned it all up!" cried the crack baby.
"Someone's been playing with my bed," growled the father.
"Someone's been screwing in my bathroom," said the mother.
"Someone's been here, that's for sure," said the Baby bear.
They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom,
The father yelled, "Someone's been fucking in my house, who is this sleeping in my bed,
and smoking my get high?"
"It's my shit, too" said the mother.
"Well, what about me!" exclaimed crack baby
"Aww, shut up!" the mother and father both said to the crack baby.
"She gonna replace our shit, or we gonna take it out on her ass", yelled the mother 
Just then, Goldilocks woke up and saw the three angry people.  She laughed,
"Shyyyyyyttt, you ain't putting your nasty mouth on me, and you can take it out
on my ass if you can catch me!" 
And she jumped up and ran out of the room. 
Goldilocks ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the park. 
And she never returned to the home of the three crackheads.
THE END

 

Unbelievablyexciting!

I found this in my email this morning.  One of my old Messsenger friends thought I should have more porn in my life.  LOL

What you think of this one...

Gives new meaning to 'independant woman', and 'doing it yourself'...

I wanna be like her when I grow up

SUBMISSION

**Pic by Sensuality4life...TY!

 

 

 

I appear before you
                 kneeling
eagerly waiting this dream come true
                                             Feeling
As you walked nearer,
                     healing
                                      Peeling
my clothes off with nervous furor
Killing
minutes with anticipated sighs
                                          Reeling
from being close to your sexy thighs
Dealing
with thoughts that I could be
                                 yielding
Concealing
how badly I wanted for thee
                                   Willing
to do whatever you command
Stealing
kisses from your precious hand,
                                          sealing
my fate tonight

kneeling

before you

Revealing

I will do anything
you
want
me
to
do

You
whisper
to me
feuling my lust...
'feed my hunger;
in me
only
will you trust'
I held back
my want no longer
as your grip on my face
was getting stronger
With every thrust
your

liquidy taste
saturated
and

marinated
the want on my face
somewhere
between

sex
and making love
I

knew
this is what
I have been dreaming of
giving

 

myself

 

 

to you

 

 

jakuper(8/17/06)

 

Another Chance.....Collaboration w/Epidomyofadiva

 

Baby
don't leave me again
consider this
a talk
just us two
no interruptions
turn the phones off
nothing is more important
than this moment
my last chance
to woo you back to me
It would help
if I first admitted
my mistakes
you gave me love
that I didn't appreciate
now I'm standing
before you
with my heart in my hand
I believe I deserve another chance
if you love me
even if it's chance
number three
Baby
Let's try again
I can't stand to see you
with anyone else
not even her
Remember
in the beginning
all those promises we made
things  both of us
wanted to do
things we planned to do
Yeah....Let's do them

That bond we share
you know the one
that won't go away
even though others exist
we've talked about it
many times
vowing to always
be around
Stay
with me baby
I'm not too proud to ask you
time and time again
this is not some BS either
real talk
Come on, Baby
take this ring
Put it back on your finger
where it belongs
let's fix what's wrong
If I had you back
I wouldn't complain at all
even when the bad times come
Now you don't have to wonder
if I want you
You're all I ever wanted
I just wasn't being assertive
or confident
that someone like you
could want me...
It has taken all this time
for me to see
You do love me
Smiling...

And, I love you too
Give us another chance...

                                                      

I am yours
So have your way
With me
Tease my body
And let the hunger
Descend into your mouth
Place
Your desire
Over my breasts
Under my skin
In my flesh
I am yours
So have
Your way
With me
Grab
My lips
And make your tongue
Move
Like the body
Of erotic dancers
Spread
My passion like thighs
Awaiting love letters
To be written
Between them
I am yours
So have
Your way with me
Have your way
With me
As I
Am yours
You have your second chance.....

 

Blindfolded....

Knock KNock
Come in.
I hear the screech of the door, as it's shut.
I'm going thru this, I think....
no matter what.
Lying on the sofa,
feeling excitement, instead of dread
this is just a game.....She told me
not to be afraid;
I'm hoping it's not the worst decision I made.
Silence.
Noone's saying a word
What's happening, now..
I'm nervous, as I begin to wipe my brow.
Footsteps
in the distant...coming closer
My heartbeat racing with each step..
The sound of ice cubes rattling
"Drink this", came from the voice..."Do you need some help?"
I take the glass, trying to feel the hands
to see if it's a woman, or a man
and I still don't even know.
I finish drinking, and the glass is taken away
What did I just drink
I have no idea
"Just relax a bit", I thought I heard her say
Still unable to discern
but my mouth begins to burn
what the Hell have you given me?
I'm feeling nauseated, like Im spinning
and I bet this..whoever it is
is looking at me, grinning.....
The sound of  music fills my ears
music, I haven't heard in years
hearing Ella In the distance
I can feel hands, removing my clothes
and I offer no resistance
Im naked
cold
afraid
I'm being picked up
and walked to a room
and placed upon a bed
I feel a body covering me
heavy
clammy
and warm
kissing me on my lips
while hands grab my hips
raising my legs
and spreading them apart
I'm sure it's not a woman, now
I can feel his body part
lifting me up
to meet his own
This isn't supposed to be happening
and I cannot think
that fucca drugged me
He put something in my drink
My mind knows
but my body can't pretend
I'm being fucked by this stranger
thanks to my
fucking friend......

 

NEVER PLAY BLIND TRUST GAMES WITH YOUR FRIENDS

 

 

Naughty Horoscopes...Is yours True?

Aries (March 21-April 19)

LIVES for head massages. ANY part of their head: Lips, Eyelids, Eyes, Tongue, you name it! Aries also likes to fuck in public places during business hours. You need to be open minded with an Aries...If you don't feel like being duct taped to a wall and beaten with live ferrets: Tell Them. Be warned! IF you don't want to be kinky, don't be with an Aries. If you say 'No' too often to them you may lose them as a lover forever.
Aries Idea of Heaven Is: Participating in live sex shows for money. Having their favorite human toy win first place in a pony boy/girl race. Fucking as an art form on display in a gallery. They secretly crave to be strippers or Annie Sprinkle. Aries LIVES to be jealous...they also like to coordinate other people fucking. Secretly desire to be fluffers. Aries owned a Violet Wand before it was popular. They are also Sadists.
The best gift to give an Aries is designer colored nylon rope in their favorite color. They live to tease and torture...HEY...Somebody's gotta do it, right? They like hair pulling. Beware of their 'toy' collections. Don't tease them...they will rape you. They love pony boys and girls...I cannot emphasize this enough! They like it doggie style especially if they are steering. Give an Aries 100 feet of rope and a 250 dollar flogger, they will follow. As long as they get to be the one holding the handle.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

--Don't tease them. It will only piss them off. Taureans are realists. If you say that you are horny: Prepare to be fucked. Taureans are heavy indulgers, though. All forms of indulgence: Sex-drugs-wine-food...whatever their vice may be: they simply cannot get enough. They do not believe in moderation. They will fuck until they are sore. Taurus likes to have sex just for the sake of having sex. What they lack in originality, they make up for in stamina and endurance. Okay...so they may not be into bondage, okay? But they WILL lick you until you have at least three orgasms or until you pass out...whichever comes first. Taurus uses their tongue for EVERYthing...and I mean that. They love to lick people in whipped cream, alcohol, chocolate, flesh and candy???Bring it on! Caution: They are looking for a relationship so be kind to them.
They also have a BIG wet thing for scent. Sometimes they don't want a lover to bathe before sex. Or you may find them shaggin in a garden or a greenhouse...to smell the dirt: After all, they are Earth signs.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21) --

Ever heard the saying "Been there. Done that?" chances are it came from a Gemini. They are always changing...they are the eternal Chameleon. You never who you are fucking that day.
They have had sex.
A lot of sex.
Probably because they are in a constant state of flux...always looking for the new high.
The biggest turn on for a Gemini is: LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION.
Here is just a smattering of places that I know Geminis have fucked: In the elevator of the moseleum of Forest Lawn Cemetary DURING A FUNERAL. Wine cellars in nightclubs. Vip Areas of Theatres. Public Parks. The 18th Hole of a private golf course. In the center of a race track just as the flag was going up. On various Gym equipment at numerous health spas. A football stadium during the SuperBowl. A Balcony railing at Mardis Gras in the French Quarter...just to name a few.
If it's shiny...they will want it. They are big on DRAMA so be prepared for them to set the mood for sex no matter WHERE you might end up. They WILL take the initiative. They live off their charm. If they are male and gay they will still be the greatest fuck your female friend has ever had. Go figure. They are also Voyeurs but always willing to lend a hand ... or any other part of anatomy. If they are depressed, suck on their fingers, that always seems to cheer them up. Their goal is to fuck in the front row of the OSCARS when the cameras pans on them so that they can wave.

Cancer (June 22 - July 22) -- 69

This is the sign that needs to be cuddled. They may believe that they were born in the wrong period or century. They DWELL in the past...Victorian...Roman...Medieval...You name it.
They usually will only fuck at night...come to think of it...they fuck better at night anyway. Maybe its because they are ruled by the Moon. This is a sign that is looking for TRUE love...I mean REAL TRUE DEEP LOVE...that 'Romancing The Stone' Frikkin 'Wuthering Heights' kind of love. They probably cry at the end of any Jane Austen flick. They want to be swept off of their feet. They really do deserve it, too. They are constantly dumped on by previous past fucktard ex lovers that think they own them. Sometimes Cancers pick the wrong guy/girl and get beat up or emotionally hurt. Why? They think its what they deserve. Which is bullshit. They are wonderful people. They love water sports (jacuzzis/pools/showers/saunas/bathouses...) They want to be comfortable while fucking...oh sure the foreplay may have had you bent over a barstool...but when you get home they want comfy couches, beds, fluffy pillows, anything soft and fuzzy that is not a pet. Cancerians also have a horrible tendency to misplace their clothing. Highly Exhibitionistic. They live for Oral...as long as it tastes good. Karma Sutra honey dust is a good start...mints...ice cream..anything with sugar...fruit...Don't rush them they smolder. But when you get started, be ready for a long night. They like to play with ice cubes, too. Also nipples are a BIG thing for Crabs...they all secretly wish to get their nipples pierced. Can be submissive highly. Masturbation is where they get their bonus points at. Be warned: They like 'em YOUNG...so you better be ready to dress up like an Animation school boy/girl with a whip to keep 'em.

haha... it's all true !! lol

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)--

If we could put our pussy cat naked and jeweled in rubies on a dias in a museum...this would be their idea of heaven. Everyone admiring them: Hell, yeah! "WORSHIP ME." is their motto. If you fuck up just once with a Leo...That's IT. Don't be expecting them to take you back. They are not willing victims, after all, they CHOSE you...you screwed up? They can UN-Choose you just the same. They live for Menage a Trois...or Qua...or Cinco....anything in a group is okay as long as they are in the middle. Leos also like bubble baths. Once you start with a Leo...do not think you can just turn their emotions on or off like a switch...they demand satisfaction. NOW. All the stress in the world ends up in the Leo neck...They need neckrubs...they feel like they have the entire weight of the world on their head. If its kinky, a Leo has probably done it..You know Madonna's a LEO, right? She masters the Madonna/Whore/Goddess thing pretty well, huh? I wonder why? Could it be cause shes a fuckin' LEO? yep. Valmont was probably a Leo. They probably have the movie at home. Get out your furry gloves and faux mink whips for this kitten. they love soft floggers and there is a specific spot on their back right above their tailbone that is heaven to them where if touched right will actually make them purr...you think I'm bullshitting you? Try it, I dare ya. Leo likes to be on top...that's a given. They need control. Their underware is always..er..interesting to say the least. They LIVE for boudoir photography. They LOVE to be photographed. If they can afford a nude or semi nude photo of them..do it now. Leos are born and bred to be porn stars...even if they act prude about it..they have thought about it. They usually end up in vocations where they can be served like a king or queen (EX: 24/7 Domina...Mistresses...Gigalos...Bar owners...Promoters...Runway Models...) may have a fetish about decorating their genitalia...not piercings, per se...but other jeweled adornments definately. Rubies usually are their love. I knew one LEO with a solid silver Cockring embedded with rubies. Love to have their hair brushed and played with. You had better be vocal in bed with them...they want to hear how well they are doing. If a Leo has chosen YOU as a mate. Just accept it and enjoy the ride. Be prepared for anything. They have no problem tying you down. They ARE the naughty school teacher, the pirate captain, the gypsy king and Cleopatra all rolled into one.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept. 22)--

This is the MOST confused sign on the planet. This sign is pretty realistic: No Frills. They love to fuck in showers not because it's kinky...but because of hygenic reasons...they are big into sanitary issues. Every Virgo I have ever met has issues...always going back to hygiene. They have to arrange time in their busy scheduals to have sex...But when a reservation is made...You had better be there on time, if not a little early. With flowers. And Clean.
Virgos want to make their partner happy. That's it. USUALLY. You will always get a freaky Virgo, but not often. Even so, they will TRY to get YOU to cum. And if they can't make you cum, they will buy someone or something that will.
Yes you read that right.
The sign of the virgin believes in prostitution.
Missionary is their big thing. I wish I could give Virgos more kink...but, that's about it. Except maybe try spanking them sometime and see what will happen. They LIVE to masturbate...whether its you rubbing them, them rubbing you...them rubbing against your fox fur coat...whatever! Some Virgos WANT to be punished. They will do naughty things to be caught so they can be punished. They are perfect for Aries who want to punish SOMEBODY. Anybody! Pretend rape scenes also turn on Virgos. As long as they know they are secretly safe. If you have ever seen the Carnival Rape scene in 'Henry & June' this is a Virgo wet dream. Also all Virgos like to see Camel Toes...what's up with that? Sherlock Holmes was probably a Virgo...or a repressed Gemini.

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23)--

Let the games begin! Libra will try anything once. Twice to make sure they liked it. Three times to be absolutely sure. Do not touch a Libra's head during oral sex...that may work with an Aries, but not here. Libras LOVE giving oral - They LOVE getting it , too. But don't feel like they get enough...too bad, because they sure as hell are getting enough of everything else. They will buy toys to make YOU use it on THEM. Libras are mental creatures that believe in living and fulfilling fantasies that they haven't done in real life...which is rare because they have done almost EVERYTHING. They have no problem sploshing. To them, sitting in a pie COULD be fun. Porn? Bring it on! Sex, video AND food? ALRIGHT! They are heavily exhibitionistic by accident. They are accident prone, they lose bras, underware, condoms....they also accidentally end up in bed with people. Amazing how THAT works! They like to cross dress. Both sexes do this quite well, actually. Male Librans are mistaken for women all the time, and Female Libras are mistaken for men every now and again too...its because they are under the goddess Aphrodite. They are never just ONE sex. They can always feel what the opposite sex feels. Which is why they are rarely clingy, except in rare circumstances when they have been led on, then watch the manipulative side of the scales swing. They love to role play and play dress up. They like to dress like hookers or Queen Elizabeth (This is the men, too!) Who are they really? It depends on what day of the week it is. They believe that life is too short to date ugly people in more ways than one. So if you are being shagged by a Libra, there is a good reason. Whether you are attractive physically, emotionally, mentally or have a fantastic sense of humor, there is always a reason for a Libra to be fucking you. But they HATE vulgarity. They despise feeling like they are on a waiting list to get your attention...worse yet, feeling like they are your groupie. That won't last long, then. They have already figured out HOW to destroy you...now they are biding their time to see how long until they throw YOU away...with nothing. But, if you get past all that, expect long luxurious nights talking and playing Strip Tarot or Naked Chess. They are the Graceful Slut...but not slutty and yet accident prone. If you are going to fuck a Libra: Get mirrors. Lots of them. They have more vanity issues than a Gemini. Nothing is TOO kinky for them. They are the eternal Courtesan or Concubine. They are sex therapists, porn writers who knows?

Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21) --

HOLEE SHIT! here comes the masters and mistresses of FUCK!
Sorry Leo, but Scorps ARE the leaders in the Kink O Rama factor (Hey Lions, you are the kings and queens of everything ELSE...let it go...OMMMMMMMM)
Scorpios KNOW how to seduce.
They KNOW what is kinky.
They are highly manipulative.
They KNOW how to get you to do what THEY want.
They KNOW how to fuck.
And they are making room for modifications.
All they have to do is walk into a room and look at you, and you WILL be on your back assuming the position.
One Scorpio I knew used to shackle her lover to her dining room table and serve food around his naked . body for dinner parties. She would put the Dip right between his legs and tell everyone to try some.This is just an idea of Scorpio kink. She would punish him later if things went...er...awry.
Anne Rice (During her 'Beauty' phase) wants to be a Scorpio. Leos and Scorpios make for a fabulous tryst...but the emotions are staggering. Don't dare TRY to make a Scorpio jealous...they will duct tape you to a chair and make you watch them fuck your boss..or your sister/brother..or Mother...hell, that's their idea of a typical normal Thursday night. They love to use gag balls. They always have carpet burns on their knees and back...this is from their constant rutting like a wild weasel in heat. They are also very cunning and secretive. They LOVE pony girls and have a fetish for riding crops and bridles. Most Scorpios have mastered the Binaca Blowjob for heightened and elongated pleasure. I hope you can go the distance and can make them come...otherwise gods help ya.
Favorite Song: Master and Servant.
Most female Scorpios have a horrible tendency of being Alcohol Lesbians...get them drunk enough they will kiss a girl...or two....or three...or five....One Scorpio girl I knew got so toasty at a party once...she kissed EVERYONE in the entire house...there were at least sixty people there! All their clothes are easy access. And they can definately get their foot over their head. One Scorpio man I knew could blow himself.
A definate good time...but beware their sting!

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21) --

Right out the chute I am going to tell you...THEY LOVE TO BE SHAVED.
True love is being shaved.
Sagittarius love is being shaved by someone they love.
And they LOVE to travel.
They are constantly moving.
They are always packing and going somewhere. They are the outdoorsy type. Why fuck in a tent when you can be surrounded by Sequoias under a moonlit night and have sex? Sags will Fuck Everywhere! Most Sags flash body parts and are closet nudists. They will be the first to register for nude volleyball at the nudist resort. Don't get me wrong, they have a TON of provocative clothing at home, but they like to be naked. EVERYWHERE.
They don't know why its against the law to drive naked in a convertable especially. It just doesn't seem right. Downright Anti-American to them. They are also bleeding heart causefighters. They believe that sex is a biological function amongst friends...why fight it when you can fuck it? A perfect night for them is to :
Talk. Fuck. Talk. Fuck. Go out and look at sea otters..Pick some flowers...Talk. Fuck. Laugh. Have a drink. Talk. Fuck. Dinner. Fuck. Sleep. Fuck and Fuck some more!
Male Sags have more fetishes than a female Sag. Foot fetishes...Lingerie...cross dressing...Female Sags are nature lovers: Do it in the bushes, Sex on the beach, in the ocean, hell behind the local laundrymat! Kinky? they Love Kinky. Wear that pirate getup for these girls, they'll be on their knees in a heartbeat. They'll dress kinky and skip the panties under a short skirt if you're going out on the town, just to get you going, and I do mean going~ these girls want it all night long! Whipped cream, body oils and bondage,Licking and sucking, whatever it takes to keep the party going! . They believe in doing it and doing it often! fucking before the movie starts..., fucking at the theatre during the previews and maybe a quick blowjob on the way home.

Sag females love sexing up your whole body! Give them a chance, there won't be a body part they haven't sucked licked or fucked!You can touch them anywhere and they got hott cause they're freaky like that! They love leg rubs and jacuzzis, this is because their thighs are a hot spot...They'll be the ones holding you up fucking in the closet at your friends housewarming party at two in the morning. They are built for lot and lots of sex in any way shape or form, kinky or slow teasing, fast and hard or slow and easy~ if you want to get your freak on, Sagittarians are the way to go! None of the other signs love Sex as Much as a Sag!

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19) --

Just as I was writing this one, my Capricorn friend proceeds to call me...Capricorns are psychic by accident. They have no idea the fates smile on them from time to time...they just accept it an move on. You can turn on a Cappie just by breathing on them. They are strong and responsible and have dignity. But they are too easy to turn on sometimes. And watch out when they are horny...whoever is in the room better have protection. They are natural screamers and leave bite marks. they like sex a lot as a favorite past time. Usually durinig commercial breaks is perfect. Its nothing for a Cappie to fuck seven or eight times during commercial breaks in an hour long T.V. Show. They like to do it in the shower...on the furniture...on other peoples furniture...on other peoples beds...Cars...Tents...boats....yep, if they are in the mood...it could be at the Presiden't inaugeration...get ready for some nookie!
They love to bite.
They might seem at first sight of them rather cold and insensitive.
But when they warm up?
There is no stopping them.
They like to have the back of their knees licked.
They live for tongue massages.
They think porno is just SILLY...who thought THAT up? But they will watch it to see if they are missing anything.
Give them dim lighting, a roaring fireplace and a nice bottle of wine...you might as well reconcile yourself to the fact that you better leave the phones off for the entire weekend and order food in.
They like to play games...as long as they are in charge.
This is a misunderstood sign...they can be very kinky. As long as it is with people they love.

Aquarius (Jan. 20- Feb. 18) --

MY favorite sluts are Aquarius. Why? Because if you don't expect anything in return, you won't be disappointed. Sounds easy, huh? They will get under your skin though, so beware. It's easy to be hurt by an Aquarius because they don't want you to know what they are thinking. If they are silent but you are in the room with them...chances are they are in heavy thought. But don't worry, chances are they are thinking about you...and fifteen other things. Water bearers look at sex like it is a form of recess. They can turn you on by simply walking in the room. They are the Rain Man of the Zodiac. They give too much of themselves to others that don't give a shit...then get shy to those that care about them.
Go figure.
They like kinky. They are easy going. To them, it's a learning experience. Male Aquarians like to tease and live life in a fantasy world. Female Aquarians can't masturbate enough...Males never get the chance to masturbate because everybody wants a piece of them. They like their ankles nibbled. They love back massages. Their ultimate adventure is the "But we might get caught" game.
They will fuck wherever they run the risk of being seen or found by another lover. Don't expect faithfulness from these creatures...it's just not in their DNA. They are open minded to the point that anything shiny will derail their train of thought. Fucking while standing or leaning is a plus here. Fuck with their mind and they will follow you anywhere. They enjoy being fucked in groups of three. Think being Jack Nicholson in bed with the three Witches of Eastwick? This is a Aquarian dream. They need you to make the first move. Not to be dominated. But to bring them back to earth now and again for a little physical funtime. They get lost in the clouds a lot. Don't derail from your personal pleasure course, however, otherwise you will be just talking to them all night. which can be stimulating just as well too. Beware! They are the flirts and teases from HELL! Never take one on a trip to a Home Depot when you are both horny. This can lead to nasty things.

Pisces (Feb. 19- Mar. 20) --

Get out the boots - Stilletto heels - foot creams and panty hose...here come da fishies!
They are the LEADERS in foot fetish. Masturbation in shoes? Okay. Toe masturbation...bring it on! They love using their feet.
Fucking in the water and see them squirm.
Pisces have probably done it in a sex swing. Or at least considered how strong the ceiling beams are on their house to put one in. Pisces men break furniture when they fuck...things get flung everywhere.
Pisces can be turned on by the wierdest things...Trains...Water fountains...Jump rope...Whatever. They are the sirens calling you to the beach where you will end up on your back on a towel with water all over you and not wanting it to stop.
They want to please you and experience new things. Let them lead, it will be a journey not soon forgotten, once your body stops shuddering from the pleasure.
Pisces men have the longest staying power, no wham bam thank you ma'am, be prepared to ask for a break ladies.
I have heard it said that its the pisces that will cross the darker kinky side at least once...just to say "YEP. did that. Not that great or I know a better way" OR "What do you MEAN you never......"
SAM from sex and the city should be a Pisces. These babes are perfectionists. You will have a perfect orgasm with them...so will they..in fact, they strive for perfection in everything they do...it's all in th details for them. There will not be ONE hair out of place with a Pisces. All of their fetish jewlery will match a specific whip or dress or shoes. EVERYTHING MUST MATCH! I had a Pisces Friend who was at a nudist beach in Brazil (You will always find a Pisces at a beach...its inbred in them) A middle aged man in his early 50's or so came up to her and immediately saw her body and BABING! got a hard on! Not feeling shocked in any way, shape or form, she walked right up to him and put her hand on his cock for a moment , then with her same hand took her sunglasses off , looked him RIGHT in the eye and said "DAHLING, your erection is SUPERB!" and she walked off never to see him again.
You never can tell what the hell a Pisces will do, but I guarantee that it will be SUPERB!
SECRET: Pisces women fall for a man that can wear a high heel and garter. And look good

 

my humble admission

My Humble Admission

 

 

A
one time
admission
from me
that sometimes
I really can't see
I wake up
and everything
is bothering me
from my family
and friends
to problems to no end
health issues and scares
things I face each day
seems as noone cares
I know it's not true
But,
I feel like confessing to you
Tis nice to be loved
and admired
and expected to keep going
when you're so weak
and tired
Some days I don't
even want to get up
I fight with myself
to move
If I keep going
I know there's more to gain
than lose
Still refraining
and yet holding back
procrastination my reason
for slack
If I actually revealed
the things I face
Then you'd  know why I run this race
I know at the end, if I faint not
the is a victory for me
it's my destiny
So,
I will go on living
go on giving
keep on walking
never stop
talking
spend less time
doubting
and more time
believing
that I am receiving.....
...........................
................
and then
in the midst
of all of it
you get this message
you know the one you never expected
and it makes all the difference
in the world!
In it, it answers
all your pressing questions
and makes you know
beyond a shadow of a doubt
that you got angels
all around you
they hear you when your heart speaks
when it hurts
they come
running....
I think
I might make it...

just one more day....
Selah

 

 

Entering the Diva's Den...Collaboration with Epidomyofadiva

So she really wants you?
No. Women are more trouble than men...lol
have you ever even desired a woman?
..not really, I dont see why she so paranoid
Why is she so jealous of me
hell if I know
she think you and I have something going on...
or has she even asked
she wont ask, she will assume
they all will assume
and watch everything we do
(wondering what it would really be like
taking her for the first time)

(I almost thought we had started something the other day
so, I'm gonna keep this thought to myself...... hot,hot,hot)
 
Hello....can I speak to Diva...
this is Diva, may I help you?
what time will u b ready tonight.  I thought we'd eat at my house,
if you're not afriad
I'll be ready by 7. No fear we can dine at your house tonight
I'm fixing your favorite.  Grilled salmon w/salad & asparagus
oooo...and if you fix me that I'm really cummin...lol
bathing...dancing around the room with excitement
Clothes everywhere.  Baby oil dripping down my body from the shower
I take my time to put the salmon in the oven, got the veggies in the fridge..
Ready to go.  Bottle of wine chilling.  Oh, and I made a salad.
Balsamic vinegarette..I remembered.  I'm unusually nervous. 
We never established a relationship beyond a deep friendship,
and I hope I don't blow this chance to impress her on my turf.  Wondering...
if she is as nervous as I am...

She is even more nervous..thinking...  what is she doing all this emotional
I know she knows she turning me on with that, "I don't do girls line..."
What do you wanna bet, one day some woman gonna turn that head,
and she won't be able to say no...she is always there whenever I need her;
its as if she feels me  and I hope I'm alive to see that day.
Looking at the clock, it's almost time....6:15- one last look in the mirror
as I slip the little back dress over my head...heels on..splash of perfume
and out the door.

Damn, look at her.  Coming to my the door..looking dressed to kill..
I would love to call that mine...

Knocking on the door...
Good evening Sunshine...i'm here
Such a warm embrace...damn she feels good to hug
Ok..you came to my house.
Hi,  welcome to my humble abode...
...honored to be here
Ccome in..wit your sexxy ass...

Winking my eye as I enter...
'What you say?  she said.
Nothing. I said you sure got here fast...LOL
Would u like a drink now...or what
Yes. Thinking to myself-- this will ease my butterflies
Grrr, I keep asking these leading questions...
Okay, two glasses of wine coming up
...excusing myself...

thinking to myself...what am I suppose to be doing...
hoping she likes what I did with the place.  I made it a lil more me..
should I ask her if she needs my help

I just hope I dont blow this night.  I like good impressions
Damn, I'm seeing her in a new light...and I like it
Okay, one glass of wine for the Diva...smiling
sitting down beside you.  'Hi...how u doing...', that's all that came out.
... feeling embarrassed, nervous.  "I'm really good today...."
I take a sip of wine, and ask if she wants to watch TV, or listen to music...
Thanks for inviting me. I love what you've done to the place
No, let's listen to music.  Thank you...I just redid it.  What do you like?
Nina Simone... Donny Hathaway.... any oldies
OOOO, I happen to have her, or at least one cd.  The oldies are me!
A friend turned me on to her one day in a chatroom, and I'm digging on her
I know. I am tooo.  I love Nina.

My son's father and I use to listen to Donny all the time
My palms are getting moist....why am I nervous...I have sweat in my hands
We been out many times before..why is this different?
Something about tonight is different...

Sunshine you seem different as if your glowing
...okay, Im gonna break the ice, D...tell me whats different about tonight?
lol..I am... I mean we been dating for a while..we keep it on the up and up...
so why is it different tonight?  Tell me.  What you doing to me...
is it your dress.. or the lack of an audience?
why ..whats happening... you seem so much more intense..
or in tune to me tonight.  What?  I'm always in tune with you. 
Ughh, I don't mean it like that...
I meant to say, I'm always a good friend...
No Sunshine...   huh?   explain then.  I mean as if its just you and me--
as if we are one. 

Blushing as you talk... So nervous   One?   yes..  Who..us?
... smiling even more.  I'm sorry,  was I assuming again?
Well, its true when we met, we clicked, and we just appreciated
the mutual respect without even so much as one complication.  Nooo..you weren't.
It is what it is.. I mean..there was always something there
then we've been one for awhile... 
 
The timer went off.  Those silent conversations.  Okay, hold that thought.
That timer was right on time.  If I had not gotten out of there, 
I woulda tried to take it to another level.   Hmmmmm..whewwww...

When is she going to touch me...damn. ...is my mind running wild again?
Everyone doesn't want me, but I thought...oh...never mind

Now.  Let me check this grub...yeah,.it's smellllinnnggg great!
And barring any unseen disaster, this night will be perfect!
Okay, dinners ready.  Let's eat.  Go wash your little fingers, and join me. 
Bathroom is right there on your left.  Sure, excuse me, 
I go into the kitchen to set the table.  I seat her at the other end of the table,
but I really want her to sit beside me..closer
but, nawww,  Imma be nice... its already tense...lets not blow it.  you can sit here,
as I pull out her chair for her, and pour her some wine.  Ty, Sunshine
Everything look delicious.  The guest is served first in my house.  Good.
If you don't get sick, maybe we can do this agian...LOL  
Tonight I'm a guest, huh.  Yes, always... Next time, it will be on me.
Oh yeah...cool.  Taste the salmon, see if I flavored it just right...

Slowly, I place a small piece in my mouth, wanting her to see me
inhaling the essence of the flavor. 
Yes,  its perfect!  Watching you..nerously.  Ahhh..she likes it.
Everything is great. You're an excellent cook.  Damn, I wonder what else
is she great at.  Blowing to myself...grinning...  Are you asking me...
No, that was a private thought...sorry.  Of course, I'm asking you. 
I just didn't think you heard me.  Well..I'm also good at listening,
decorating, I can play a mean game of spades..  I love to read.
The rest--you will have to discover.  I heard that.  Laughing.

what are you good at?  Now. I'm paying her back.  Putting her on the spot.

Interior design, entertaining, playing cards and making you uncomfortable...
.....devlish grin.  Ohhhh.  So,  you're doing this on purpose?  Maybe.
See, and I thought we were friends.  Now you wanna make me uncomfortable.
Of course we are, but I thought we were more.  You don't like women, remember?
More.... taking a nother sip of wine. 

I don't date women, but I so enjoy you.  I mean our relationship  ummmm.....
I don't know how to take that.   Please explain.   Feeling more nervous
Taking another sip..well, a gulp of wine, finishing my glass

Quickly asking for another one please. 
More?  please.  Of course, pouring some too... Our relationship is not
just a friendship to me.  You know you making me nervous, dont you?
sssshhhh...let me say this while I have the nerve...
ok..closing my mouth.

I think we started out as sisters, but somewhere along the way our friendship
turned into a relationship.  A relationship... If I'm wrong...  Am I wrong?
Aahh, no..I do feel close to you.... but what about him?
I mean we are always there for one another in so many ways....
well all except one.  And her--you know she would be mad as Hell if she found out. 
She would say we were playing her all along.  That we been getting down
all the time.  I don't think of him when we are together.  You don't?

Lately, I haven't, no.  Drinking the rest of the wine in my glass..
I know we are at a crossroad.  Wringing my hands..we are?
But I don't want our relationship to end like this; I want you in my life...
I'm not doing this to hurt her please, believe me.
Wasnt it you who said....women are more trouble than men...lol

Didn't you tell me they were watching you...to see what you doing...
...making sure we keep it on the up and up.
 "thinking I better be quiet before I talk her out of the words
I been longing to hear from day one, almost...
People change, and feelings do too...at least mine have...
'please enlighten me, Miss
becuz u got me thinking..well..you got me nervous as Hell over here.'
Is this just a convo..you being nice to me becuz I cooked for you?  She smiled...

I know the things I said before, but my feelings gave grown.  yes women are
more trouble.  LOL.  But what we share is pure and innocent.
Please... don't... lol...innocent...Naww. 
I can't help it.  Either I laugh, or I kiss you...
We don't have the problems that you, and she share.  Or your other friends.
Silence.

What would you like to do?
laughter escapes my lips.  J/k.  Not really, but D, what u doing here?

Did you say you wanted to kiss me... 

Slowly, she is getting up from the table,
moving towards me.  Bending down, and softly kissing my lips...

mmmmmm

 

Even If For A Moment

Even If For A Moment

I know all you see
is darkness
but I see light
It must be so lonely
inside
all those feelings
you constantly fight
the ones you're trying to hide
deep
in the abyss of your fear
I knew I would find you
hiding here
afraid to really trust
what you already know
Love is on the other side of this door
Series of hurts and pains
Restless nights,
tears,
and fears
and so much rain
have caused you to not chance
loving again
Every lover won't leave you
standing outside
in the cold
Every body
is not meant to stay
But some remain
until the whole story is told
Sometimes
the best kind of loving
only lasts
for a season
a month
or even a moment
But it's still love, my dear
Beyond those murky shadows
of what could possibly be
is a place
so affectionately called
you and me
We can get there
It's on the other side of destiny
right around fate's bend
no promises needed,
Hearts broken
will eventually mend
We make our own rules
ours to break
All we have is today
and our happiness at stake
Look what we could have
in the end...

Happiness

GUILTY!

words scrambled.....
rambled.
tales of a drug deal
gone very wrong,
carried out
by a two-bit drug dealer.
found guilty.
verdict-
execution of my brother's killer.
my brother was only "there"
he wasn't even aware...
that a drop would go bad
he was jus pronounced
a brand new dad
now, his baby carries the pain
of a father brutally slain....
by a two-bit drug dealer.
In court.......
as he faced the family
and child
trying, through tears,
to manage a smile
his speech was warbled
and broken
talking about how his life
had been a token
of a greater problem that exists-
an addiction
that makes you do crazy things
like killing..stealing
and slitting your wrists.
My mother's eyes never left the man
You could tell
she just didn't understand....
why her son
was in the wrong place
at the wrong time
and died
...by this man's hand.

 

jakuper(3/17/06) this is not a true story 

Moonlight Memories

MOONLIGHT MEMORIES...

So come join me..let walk amongst the moonlight night together,

please add your follow on if you wish or thought

 

It was august..full moon..she had waited for this night..and had been told..it was a good night to conjure your dreams and often make them your realities..she carried with her some lanterns..food....and musical instruments..she had invited her friends to join at any time..she began lighting her globes and releasing them thay floated above lighting the already..moon drenched coast line...she felt someone close...

 

ok your turn...

in the darkness stood a figure. She wasn't afraid, for the figure didn't approach..didn't move...
She neeeded to know whether she should be afraid, or what.
"who's there?" she asked.
The figure only stood staturesque...
"who's there?" she nervously asked.
Moments later, the figure moved, turning towards her, and beginning to walk slowly.
'I am here because you asked for me...' the voice said.
"when did I ask for you, and who are you?" she replied.
'You prayed for a friend, help when noone understands, and I am come to you... Only touch my hand, and your fear will disappear.'
She reached out, hesitantly for his hand, and felt a warmth. She smiled.
"Who are you?" she asked once again.
'I AM LOVE' the voice replied.
'Make no big deal out of where I come from, just that when you need me, I am here. You will never be alone again. You will never want for someone to listen to how bad, or good your day was... You will listen with your heart to birds singing, and babies laughing, and know that evenin the midst of turmoil all around,

Love is all you need. Love for yourself, for your creator, and love of what life give to you--freely. When you can accept this message, you will no longer need me...'
She was so caught up in the message, that she did not realize the person was no longer there...
Only a warm feeling...
A calm.
She heard voices in the distance. It was her friends joining her....

 

 

I kinda borrowed this from my friend, Jools, and I know she dont mind. 

I loved this exercise

wanna try it?

 

Can I Turn You On?...Collaboration with Epidomy of a Diva

Papi you gave me
tingly sensations
so deliciously delightful 
pinches
slaps
vicious
and i slipped away
into a river of
everything and yet nothing
that left me
muddled
and puddled
by the power of your hands 
a night turned into a lifetime
in your arms
not a thought
all memories
in my head
as i crawled 
begging to get into bed 
a night turned into a lifetime 
alarmed by your charm
as you took matters
into your own hands
and made me feel
like everything yet nothing 
slut
sweetie
whore
honey
Papi
give me
more
tramp
scamp
imp 
Papi
make me
limp
take my will
i get all choked up
just thinking of your hands
around my neck
your fingers
pinning my wrists
need i mention
your fists?
cocksucker
babygirl
fucktart
littleone
Papi
rip me
all apart
and show me
a dark angel 
of soul
when Papi
takes
control

                                                          

Papi gave you
tingling sensations
here's a good vibration for you
hellahot and sexy, too
moans
groans
and turning you on
is what I'm gonna do
You won't slip
into a river
or bump your head on a rock
but you will ride this tide
slipping
dipping and slide
all or nothing--
just open wide
this virgin voyage into the sea
no paddles needed
you will be cruising with me
The whipping
I'm planning for you
is absolutely free
If you like
you can spend
all your free time with me
in my arms without all the drama
night after night
a sexually satisfying trauma
as we seek
to save the babies
by devouring them all
I'll be your birth control
make me your baby's mama
Moved by your words
taken aback by your charm
I know nothing I do
will be wrong
You will beg
to get back in my bed
the tables will turn
and the fires will burn
they're hot, Lady
like everything you touch
and I touch
and we touch
and you touch
and I touch...
We will enjoy
the tangling of minds
the nasty grinds
the moves built for two
I get nervous
when I start think
that I'm taking
your lesbian cherry
from you
bursting in mid air
the rockets red glare
and waving a flag so you will know
that I'm still up in there
My bitch
My girlfriend
My baby momma
My Boo...
Girrrrlllll
you got some sweet
sweet all night long fukkin
ahead of you

Now step to me....