
I AM NAKED.
Naked
and
afraid
of my own freedom
Naked when I begin to move
from my fixated place
that I am exposed
Understanding life?
Afraid I don't.
Not all of it, anyway.
But, more than I used to.
My inhibitions keep my training wings
too heavy to fly
So I sit..grounded,
always still learning,
amidst pastel flowers filled with dew
Waiting for the sun
to shine down on me.
Naked to so many fractional ideas
and half-appeals.
No real understanding
No in depth 'let me explain' this to you
so you'll know.
Afraid when I hear the 'real deal',
I will not want to accept it
I am naked to my fears
Nothing really liberates me anymore
Afraid my eyes deceive me
Afraid no one will believe me
when I tell them what I really see.
Afraid my ears ain't clean....
and I need to oil 'this machine'
Listening to stuff.
Good stuff and bad stuff.
Don't know what it rightly means.
Are they just voices,
or choices
that aaaalll whisper
something different.
Some do.
Some don't.
Some will.
Some won't.
(laughing)
Now how am I supposed to know
which way to go..
when there are three signs
right here in front of me.
My past.
My present.
My future.
The most I can say at any one time
is that I am on the move.
I don't have what I think I need
to get me where I'm going..
but I'm going.
I'm going, yall...
Do I have what I need?
Nope. lol
Sometimes, though, you have to go on faith.
And what is faith?
The substance of things hoped for
and the evidence
of things not seen.
If I am propelled to go forward,
I have to trust
that whatever I need will be there.
I look up when I say that..
reminding Dad that
'I hear ya"
If you believe like I believe
grab a hold of this tether
and come on go with me.
jakuper(repost)

..such beautiful words...joyce
ReplyDelete.I love *pastel flowers filled with dew
waiting for the sun*
thankyou.!
Once again, reading you becomes and intent experience..intent on listening..intent on thinking. I never said it before, but there's one constant with all of your writing..the sudden soft disappointment when the last word is read, and the signature says 'that's all for now'..somehow there's always that hankering for it to be longer..for there to be more. ..
ReplyDeleteWait..I'll go read again..
nakedness...not just physical but true nakedness.. is the sexiest darn thing I ever saw..
Thank you Caroline...it is a sort of pictorial of all things naked, and beautiful, things like emotions and what is natural...
ReplyDelete:)
Agent 99, you just move me with your comments, but I did just what you feel, went naked with my feelings at a time when I didn't know it was right to. Yes total rawness, naked, and open is beautifull, and sexy, and that's what life is to me....
ReplyDeleteI even read my own work again and again, helping gauge my mind...often...
I'm happy you enjoy it as much as I do...years later....:)
yes,,I,m reading it again..
ReplyDeletesuch powerful words honey.
ReplyDelete