Vivid Visions.......A CRC Write #58

You're late, my love
You got me on a wait, my love
a delay that refuses to go away, my love
I wait patiently impatient, my love
for you to join me at my side, my love

With my eyes slightly closed, my love
I allow myself to dream of you posed, my love
You know I've seen you, my love
Vivid visions of your frame, my love
scape the linings of my brain, my love
I will never be the same, my love
since I know that you exist, my love
there is no shame, my love

I am filled with wanting what cannot be, my love
Your presence is wrapped up in me, my love
tied to everything I do, my love
I can't stop thinking of you, my love
You are the dream I court daily, my love

Wait...wait....look at that, my love
You got me thinking like a cat, my love
in the mirror, out the mirror
meowing to be fed
tucked in tight
taking to your lap for my bed

Hickory dickory dock
I been stopped watching the clock
Love me not in one shadow....but two
Realize, my love, what is true....
you make all my fantasies
and all my dreams

come true







jakuper (11/28/11)

I Forgive You.......A Word Fix@56 Write

Red: I don't remember what I was mad about.....whatever it was, I forgive you.

 Blue: Me and my lousy jokes.  Just telling them made me giggle even before you got it.  And your silly laughing....

Red: I'm sorry.....

Blue: Well, what do you know?  You took your friendship back without even discussing it with me.

Minus Refrain...........A Kae's FIAF Write #64

"Love travels faster than the speed of light!  
When you love and think of someone,
you are there with them no matter where they are"






feeling foreign to light
sinking me into it
 the roof minus ceiling
the mind....running
from north to south
east to west
esteeming  fastidiously
minus refrain
minus rest

I Am A Promise.................A CRC Write #57

"I am not a possibility....I am a promise...."






“He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’   Matthew 25:45




"Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution”

No one is born hungry.
We are born from an umbilical cord filled with food and love
and safety
We are born with the ability to create happiness
to make others lives worth living.

Make someone less fortunate believe in Thanksgiving...

again






jakuper (11/21/11)

Of Black and White.........A Words@56 Write #6

breathing in...out
memories,
thoughts
of black and white...
au courant emotions,
splashed on old sapless wood
kindling it's thirst,
like paint,
carrying the capacity
to modify
for better
or worse
Everything we do
......
whether we bring life back to it
or let it die
....
tells us
what's seen
through the third eye
beholds
life's real beauty








http://wfa56.multiply.com/journal/item/9?mark_read=wfa56:journal:9&replies_read=4
jakuper (11/20/11)

Light of Day.....A Roggys MIC #38

Days are getting shorter, it seems. Fall is in full affect. I don't think we really had a proper Summer. Temperatures climbed a little during late July, but for the most part, I was able to sleep most nights with the windows open.  When the days were too hot, I had the air on, and a fan circulating the cool air.  I looked forward to rest time.

Tonight was not any different than any other day.  Let's just say every Friday evening, he came to see me before going home.  We got to meet maybe once, or twice during the week, when he didn't have a heavy workload.  Those times we snuggled away in a hotel near his place.   After we spent time together, he always left first, and I had the room for the rest of the night.  It tore at me every time we were so close, and so loving, then I had to let go, and watch him walk out the door.  Through my tears, I always said, " I'm never going to have him.  This is as much as we can have. Back and forth...back and forth...love him and leave....love him...and go back to being alone.  How is it so easy for him to walk away, and live a life he says he doesn't want, but stays there for convenience sake..."  I hate that.

I always reckon it to being in love...for better, or for worse.  That seems to be the flavor of the day.  Anyway, today is Friday.   It's my baby's birthday.    I call him baby because he insists on it.   I guess he doesn't want me calling out his name in nobody else's ear.  I never know what time he will arrive, so anytime after 6, I expect him.   I cook his special meal, and am prepared to spend whatever time we have, doing whatever he likes.

I set the table, check and make sure the wine is chilled, the table set, and the candles are burning.   I took the time to pick out her a birthday present, even though I know he don't like gifts.  He always said my love was the most precious gift I could give him.   His insistence made me believe it.   Still, I would give him little things that were unnoticeable, things like music, or books.  This time, I got him a chrystal elephant paperweight at the Hallmark store when I bought cards for my niece's birthday.  I spotted it in my peripheral vision...and something called me over to it.  I looked up at it, and fell in love with it.  I thought about what elephants symbolize...never forgetting.  I got it, thinking it would be the perfect gift.

A knock on the door.   My heart started beating fast, and I knew it was him.  I always got nervous when he came around me.  Count it to the heart, I guess.  I opened the door, we embraced, and I got a weak kiss.  Hmmmm

"What's wrong, Baby?  Are you okay?  Did something happen?   Baby..."

'I'm okay.  Just not feeling this birthday party they throwing for me tonight.  My wife's people got plans for the whole weekend.  I just want to chill at home.  Can I come hide out with you the weekend?'

"Now Baby, you know you can.  I can have someone keep my car, and we can be alone, here, the whole weekend.   I don't have to answer the phone.  Would you really do that for me, baby?  And whoever dropped you off, just let them know you don't want to be sen, or found"

' Sounds great, I wish I could.  I would like to spend more than a day with you.  You're so good for me.   What's that smell?   You cooked my favorite, didn't you?   Mmmmmmm. You're so good to me.  What would I ever do without you?'

"Well, you don't ever have to know."

We kissed again, deeper this time, like the man I knew, kissing me when he was missing me. Things began to get heated, and I knew where it led to.  I had already begun to take his shirt off....when the doorbell rang again.  

"Who the hell was that?"

I broke away from that steamy kiss to go to the door, and see.

 

'It's Stephanie, your wife, dammit!'
"What?? '
"How in the hell did she find you here", I asked him
'Hell if I know.   Damn.   She supposed to be home waiting for the guests.  I told her I was going to the liquor store.   She musta followed me from the liquor store here.'


' I know you're in there, B***h.   You gonna have to come out sooner or later.  You might as well let me in so I can meet your b***h on the side.   You old dirty bastard.   And, on your birthday, too. What....you afraid to open the door, P***y?'

That was my cue, because I was no more afraid of her, than I was of losing him.   So I opened the door.   I know things looked shabby, with the candles, music, and a romantic setting, but I made no excuses.  He chose to be here with me, I didn't hold him at gunpoint.

"Clarence is here.  I am the other woman.  Yes, I'm the b***h on the side.  We can talk this out, or solve it any way you want to.  Your hubby is coming to the door.
Well, Happy Birthday, Baby, I guess she came to escort you to your birthday party.  No worries, baby, she is all yours.   You weren't gonna be here long enough to do anything but get me wet, anyway.   Yes, I played the game. Later, when you leave, I got a real date.

You just warmed me up for my real lover.  I figured I kept your lies going, and helped you out too long to end up empty handed.  Your best friend, Lee...yeah.   That's my real Baby.   He knew it was only a matter of time til your sh** hit the fan, and he wanted to be there for me when the deal went down.   Matter of fact...he predicted this, because you see, it has happened before.  Baby. I waited for you.   I knew you were never leaving...all the way.   Lee said that's your M.O.   See, you don't trust your woman, but you won't let her go, either. You holding on for the benefits.   You always brag that you had a good marriage, but you the one that made it ragged.  Stepping out...stepping in.  Thinking you got it going on.  Yeah, you doing your thang, but you gonna pay, too. 

What's done in the dark, in the night, will always come to the light of day.......










jakuper (11/18/11)

In Ocean's Flight..........A Roggy's CRC Write #56

Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools -Ecclesiastes 7:9

In ocean's flight...is it right

that as I nurse the underside of a headache
there's no mistake...

"I have forced myself to contradict myself in order to avoid conforming to my own taste."

Love...is not like Maxwell House
It is not good to the last drop
Might as well join me...take a sip..
better yet--take a trip
with me
as my mental hangs in the 'think it not strange range'
where the most potent TKO has set stage,
with me.....bobbing......and weaving,
giving but not receiving....
while cleaving.....to pieces left..
left on the side of the road...for theft,
right where it punctures the gut,
left to catch up with the turtle in a rabbits race,
right against the tree of absolute ignorance,
left....to wonder...was it for real
right or wrong
Am I strong
or not..?
Love is no more than a door
a trap jaw..slapped shut
broken open
by a small token
.....forgiveness......
that leads it back out
into the ocean of pure waters
so I can get some more
 sweet sleep







jakuper (11/14/11)

Common Ground......a Kae's FIAF #62

It's about love, lovey
not jealousy
She's gone now...we don't have to sneak anymore
The kids already know

Raise your soul to the wind..
let's get going
At some point
we'll all be able to find common ground
to communicate, opinion-ate, and cohabit
........
be happy
because we can

We've got now
.....
to live






jakuper (11/14/11)

Weathering Change.....A Word Fix@56 Write #5

Dedicated to "Oma Busha"
















"The sun has come
The mists have gone
We see in the distance our long way home"

Paint your own future
Become a gentle, fertile artist with self,
feel a second steal amidst long stronger strokes
that tenderness and patience evoke
in commissioning mini-paintings
of weathering change
where the 'survivor' recreates new lease
to the game








jakuper (11/13/11)



http://wfa56.multiply.com/journal/item/8?mark_read=wfa56:journal:8&replies_read=3

Emotional Spasms.........A Roggy's MIC #37

.
 Epilogue of a stolen heart.....

House party...perfect place to quench your thirst for vanquishment
for everyone who attended....
thank you  
thank you  
thank you
(sniff)

here remains....hands...(sniff) broken
soaking wine glasses
clean sweeping my best roast dish
the ending
...
(sniff) not my wish
[m]asses toasting to the next clever grown-up mess
Trust is...one of the first ones to arrive..(sniff) dressed in green
Dolled up...smiling at everyone......making friends very quickly
too easily
It knows it's way around

Sin and a shame
(sniff)
Sin and a shame
(sniff) shame on me

 red roses painting over the dinner table (sniff)
How did I know they were about to turn
dream drop distance blue
(sniff)

words you said on our wedding
you say to her (sniff) before you were even out the door
now look at the wedding present I get
eyes crying...onion-cutting wet (sniff)
no sense
no sense
no sense
(sniff)
Believing you when you said...(sniff) until death do us part
Now that cute.....b.b.b .witch she got you
Just...disregard what  we made
shove the knife...(sniff)
right through...(sniff)
my heart


Just go on...(sniff) you bastard
roll 'er up and take 'er home
She can never be me
(sniff)
looking like something right out of Gotham
I hate you for dong this to me

(sniff)
Don't mind this small waterfall
got a little
running down my nose
[catch it..you used to say] (sniff)
Just be ready for the cataclysm
before it's really all over

times like this
(sniff)
times like this
Through sad windows on blue nights
Karma promises...(sniff) it never lasts
because it was done
in the night
 

I used to think (sniff) you belonged with me
All it took was unforeseen problems,
an unfitting crown of...of drunken thoughts
and my silence....
because I know
I know when you're distant
you creating a fog
Ain't nothing like that icy feeling
when you come in..and bring her with you
just rubs me bare
and ....I can't speak...(sniff)
Your only words...
"Why won't you look at me?"
...but you know....and you don't care if I cry
(sniff) (sniff) (sniff)
you'd much rather (sniff) give me
a geometrical hernia
(sniff) a overflow of emotional spasms
because
you
can't
be
honest
with
me
(sniff)

Damn you

My eyes are open now...wide open
My heart demands more (sniff)
It's already divorced

If my voice could reach back through the past...
and call up every instance when I shouldn't have trusted your ass
I'd say you owe me big time
and oh yeah
you
you gonna pay









jakuper (11/9/11)

Luna Love......a Roggy's MIC #36

I wish I may,
I wish I might
have this wish I wish
tonight

bricks stacked like suitors
...
pushing
"The moon,
like a flower in heaven's high bower,
with silent delight
sits
and smiles on the night."

.....
casting pukka reflections of predilection,
grant me this one sagacious wish to cavort this incarnadine maiden,
whose reputation and dress... are pressed in white

"These are the nights when the wolves are silent;
and only the moon howls."


Oh magical and mystical moon,
encased in a river flowing of liquid silver,
prepare me now....and deliver me now
magically....onto the backside of noon

 

Fingers wading wistfully, tingling with healing
and feeling; preparing for flight, would-est thou carry me safely
through the night
Entrusting am I to silver's softened glowing streams...
escort me now, awakened, awaiting
as I enter into my dream

Eyes wide opened and curtain of time removed,
traveling adjacently arriving soon
through un-reckoned destinies yet to bloom

Why...because she wouldn't come to me,
.......so I brought me to her.

As seconds past midnight ushers another day
I would that tonight, she'd let me stay
Upon finding her...fast asleep I whispered a wish
that she was just napping and waiting for me.

Feeling so divine ...she...was now all mine
Finally.... heart to heart....My own talisman....My 'ob jet de art'


Luna finds me sliding down beams of daydreams
destinies met...silvery wet....how much better can this get
In no time I was inside the room.
Loins filled with anticipation....spilled..and refilled...seconds too soon
Just thinking about how she tasted, how once becoming close
and then separated drove me insane...and now...now...
I was close enough to whisper her name

I've no time now to waste...for before long...it will be day
Embracing her felt like when love enters me
once inside...sliding slowly....all of me...wholly...totally
gripping hips as bodies pop and lock....interjecting me into her
picking up the pace, not like a cozy stroll, but a race
to the first finish line,
also knowing mothered be many more by first sunshine
Lifting her body over me...as baby-making hips dip to cover me
my passion rationed asking hers
to take all of me...in...again and again

Hands hugging curves making traces....kissing places
I never knew I had the nerve
Skin glistening, whining, grinding
gladly doing anything to listen to her body sing

Morning quickly comes...and awakening to a turbid moon closing
sleepy and slippery spent...yet so happy with the way everything went....
the weight of legs across each other
thighs divided...separated by one another....opening my eyes to you



I can't believe my dream came true











jakuper (11/8/11)R

"Quench your thirst for life"........a CRC Write #55

Tomorrow is my birthday
I didn't think I would see it
 To tell the truth....I didn't want to see it.
But God has other plans for me to live

Yes, I'm old...I'm alone
and I'm a senior citizen
 but I'm so grateful for Him in my life
I'm thankful for the sunshine, the oceans, the beaches, the flowers,
candles, family, friends, giving, gratitude,
helping others without expecting anything in return,
sharing knowledge, a heart that forgives,
reading, music
and I could go on and on

Most of the people you will ever meet
are in need of sympathy in some part of their life.

Give it to them,
and they will love you for it
Codependency will make you feel obligated to heal their pain.
We determine who and how we will be used.
Maybe "compassion" is a better word in this context-
choosing to have compassion for someone
'just because'
Just because seems to come from a more empowered space....
a space that is more beautiful
than beautiful is..to the eye


Waking up to each day
to "random beauty"
........
babies,
families,
friends,
loved ones,
enemies,
ugly people,
pretty folks,
animals,
mean people,
nasty folks,
barely living,
barely breathing,
and so-so health
(but we still here)
and right where we belong

Sometimes beauty is the big cover-up
It strips us of gratitude
and kindness
and
and clear thoughts

We know what we need to be doing
what we can do
and don't do
we just wait around for another day
........
A day....that's not promised


But starting today

"Quench your thirst for life"


return some of that unequivocal love












jakuper (11/7/11)

Crossroads of Time....a Word Fix@56 #4 Write

Time brags a vexation over us
that's merely a bend
We've reached crossroads that so many times before said
this is the end

 Now....instead of being happy for our freedom
and accepting our wish for our well
you openly cite your displeasure

So now, time, you take your diadem over us

and go to Hell







jakuper (11/7/11)

Going........a Kae's FIAF #61

Missing you leaves blisters......

jumping trains
knowing when to let go....
for the sake of growth

asking self....with everything over-stood

"where am I going?"

.....your absence......leaving holes

 traveling through life,
will...strong and long
 killing my life.....
singing everybody else's song
 
Going....
in the direction of my choices,
whether right
...
.........or wrong







jakuper(11/7/11)

 

Finish The Thought.......November 3, 2011

1. The song playing in my head today is.......

2. My favorite 3 word phrase is....

3. It's so funny that people......

4. My favorite quote for today is.....

5. Everybody loves you when you're....

6. This past weekend was....

7. I relax best by....

8. I appreciate people who...

9. I will never understand people who...

10. I like it best when my friends are....

11. I am more ...... than most people

12. The 3 things I definitely believe in are......

13. I make no excuses for being.......

14. I believe people should be.....

15. I am working on being more......

16. ......is more important than money, to me.

17. Favorite word after sex is....

18. Word I'm trying to do without saying is.......

19. Characteristic I need to display more is.....

20. I think best when I'm in.......

21. The best thing that happened to me this year was....

22. The worst thing that happened to me this year was....

23. In the new year, I would like to......

24.  Do a shout out to a favorite happening in your life right now.........

Precious Stones

"The Wise Woman's Stone"

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

"I've been thinking," he said, "I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.

"