Here I Come..............CRC #49

Take me away, distance.  Take me to a place I've never been to before.....

Well, I'm here. Safe ride.  Early enough to do a bit of shopping....without being bothered.  I won't contact my best friend until I'm settled.   It was her suggestion that I get away from it all, after convincing me that in my absence nothing was going to change.  Life goes on.  People might notice you...and then again...they might not.  Well...today I intend to see just who missed me at work, on the bus going back home at exactly 5:16 pm exiting on Peach Street.

God understands our prayers even when we can't find the words to say them....I keep saying to myself.  Always believe in prayer.  It's because of it, I'm right here....in this interesting town, recharging my mental batteries.  How many of us get to leave the scene of unhappy turn outs, and chase away the blues far far away from where you hate to be the most.....I wonder.  I prayed for this day, now I only need to enjoy it.

The shape of a dream...changes.  But so can I.  Out here where the wind blows in a peaceful flow talking to me, reminding me time is moving on....and I am moving along with it.  I have to believe something is here for me.  Nothing in life is unplanned.  



The shape of hope....is unplanned...like some vacations.  Even though tomorrow is another day...it is a part of a line-less cycle.  Sorta like trains connected.....or connecting.  They know where they're going only when they are connected to a caboose.  Our head in the clouds and smoke from the engine...like a train chug-a-lugging along.....making it's way to a new world.  Well, a new world....here I am.

Somewhere to change my way of thinking cause it hasn't been productive lately.   Okay, God consider me...walking down this street.  Nobody knows me, so I can't get hurt right?  Well, not inside, but..outside...yes.  If I'm not careful of this traffic and these cars passing me, not even aware of me, one might cut my destiny off...and that would hurt....every way.   Back home, I tried to find simple beauty, as it got lost between sirens, arguments, children playing, horns blowing,warm smiles, and the thirst of those who always have some game trying to get over on you.  Made me wanna just disappear.  I became easily fretted at how complacency is gunning for my soul, catching me up in some domesticated plot to overtake the freedom in me.  I just refuse to not be free.



I just want to be a light......and travel like light.....as bright as the magic of candles in the mid of midnight.....shining like a star..in vintage light.  I want to be big enough to exist in the space I've designed for me inside of my head.  Time is now helping me, whereas it used to fret me.  It bothered me because I wanted all the control, and when things didn't go my way, I fought everything, and everybody.  I wonder...why is it that when I'm outside, I feel so free....like nothing can bother me.   Walking along....humming my song.  Any song.

"I think I can...I think I can..I think I can....."

"On that midnight train to Georgia....going back to find..a simpler place and time.." 

I think I can find me some satisfaction action.  yea.  Just one day when Hope is carved just to my taste, and as I close the distance between my personal battlefields, I will be able, almost excited to change tracks,  and close the distance between what I thought I wanted and what I really need.

Where am I going?  

Right now....I'm going to feed the ducks.  Then I'm going to call my friend and we gonna go to the Fair.  Rollercoaster......fun......freedom.....peace....

here I come

jakuper (9/29/11)

Tempting.........Kae's FIAF #55

Italian customs are so copacetic....

This looks so tempting......watching my brother and his lover on an open balcony.  They know I'm here visiting.....but do they care?  How is this strange act making me so warm.....making me want to be naked...and pounded just...like....that! 

Oooooooooo, that looks like so....much....fun








jakuper (924/11)

Care To Dance.........Creative Riters Challenge #48

Every road leads you somewhere, I said to myself, as I set out on a day to ' just do me '.  Wrapping one hand over the other as I turned the steering wheel onto the exit to this town I often passed by on the way to Carissa's house.  I know I said..one day, I'm gonna check out the scenery.  Who knows, I might find a small piece of Heaven here, in the unknown.  Hundreds of people were gathered around the blares of music playing, kids running about, dogs barking, and chattering as if they were having the time of their life.  Right about now..anything is better than how I feel.  

Driving closer to where the music was playing made me want to be a part of the festivities, so I parked near some picnic tables and trash dumpsters and turned my car off.  My first instinct was to turn on the radio, but I said...let me try something new.  I rolled my windows down, grabbed my shades from the glove compartment, slouched back in my seat and just exhaled.  Of course the phone has to ring.  I picked it up, looked at the name, sighed, and tossed it over on the passenger side, whispering to self, "Joyce is not here today.  She gone.....she left......out of town."  Leaning back over, propping my elbow on the window facing, I tried to get into the beat of the music playing.  

........sounded like it was nonstop.....with two or three familiar chords repeating...over and over...but it was relaxing.  Sucking in every second as if it was a new breath of air, I felt like I was breathing in a soulful cure orchestrated to revitalize me.  A part of me wanted to call my friends and introduce them to this new culture that was sending waves of freeing energy back into me....but I know.......they'd think I was crazy.  So....I just sat there, attempting to reduce and erase all the distractions that sought to take one minute away from this mini mental vacation I was on.  


" she got up and followed me to the floor...."  Ut ohh Usher!  Now that's cool; they got R & B and country in the mix.


Okay...it's just me and you, Coop.  Let the cares of yesterday go.  Let them go.  Just remember.....humanity is universal.  Everybody gets some things right...and some things wrong. Hell, life is filled with journeys, waves of healing, ceremonies of welcome to something new when the old is out of date.  To thy self...relate..and with thy life...participate.  You can't win it unless you in it.  Listen to the music....let it drive all the junk in your trunk away.  Wherever I go....I am home.  Just say...today is a new day...today is a new poem...a new story.  A new sound.  let the music use you.

While listening in to the tempo of my spirit's new lucid exchange, by these special messengers, I didn't notice I was being watched.  All into tapping my fingers on the door top, bobbing my head up and down, back and forth, I caught the eye of this middle aged gentleman watching me. Immediately my face became flushed...it felt like I was burning up inside.  Embarrassment was a convenient word to insert for how I felt, not even knowing why I should feel like that.  He don't know me....why is he staring at me.   Naturally....I introverted my composure.  My mind went into alert stage, and I started to think about all the negative things that could happen to a young woman in a strange town, with no record of her whereabouts.  I had no weapon, and I looked like the only one of my race that I could see.  I whispered a prayer, tilted my head...as if to nod at the fella...and returned to my nodding my head up and down.

'Care to dance?' a voice rattled over the music.  I knew it was to me.  What I supposed to say?  I acted like he wasn't talking to me, and didn't answer.  Maybe he would be so kind as to think I just don't want to dance.  Cause..for real, I can't.  I just love music.  It heals something in me.  If my mental can stomach it, I give myself time to ingest it, and let it nurture me.  The goodness of music is what I keep inside of me.

'It's not ladylike to not give an answer to someone who asks you a simple question'   I realized...the voice was right up on me...in my space. the air suddenly filled with the smell of a cologne so erotically teasing that it almost choked me.  I started coughing, grabbing my chest to catch my breath, and I looked up.  All I could muster was " ummm hola "

With his hands on his hips, he stood there, watching me squirm, with the biggest smirky smile on his face. 

He said, ' you are as beautiful as Poetry, come dance with me.  Let me set that fantasy you were just so riveted in...free '

What did I say....I couldn't even do anything...but smile.

Because We Can........A Roggy MPC #30

Admitting that you've been here in my head....
almost since the beginning is a little embarrassing,
to say the least
How you've been entangled in my proliferation of oozing emotions--
you know....the ones that keep sweeping over us...like cooling water
every day....since I met you
...
they always make me anxious

You....sitting across from me
as I try to figure out your thinking process
obsesses the rhythm of my heartbeats
I be all to pieces trying to make me as comfortable as you look
and it takes me....into a zone
An electric zone I try to control right there...
in the ambiance of that moment
My hands tell the story of how nervous I really am

Though you'd think the percolating waters excite me,
they actually seem to calm me
flooding fluidly free.....
reminding me of life's ongoing journey
and how we must follow our deepest inclinations
even when others think we are crazy
and...as we wait for answers..... that may never come
devoted we be....to a sort of blind hope
in a faith that is so unsure
but is sure...
as sure as this water
palpitates

Listen to my heartbeat stabilizing
as my fingers are baptized as I look into my mind's mirror
This circling around my fingertips.....is just as alive as my feelings
which chart an effectual evolution of emotions
descrying the beauty of life


Time stops
.....as the plagiarizing of the stream of our dreams
as I would...
that I could....
cup this water into my palms
and we toast to this fresh moment
so clean
......so clear......
so unharmed
That we could feed....from the strength we find
in it's flow
Oh, to wash away every un-pure thought,
every generational dysfunction,
every impending intricacy
as our hands commune
under conjunctive christening

Life may be distorted....
but our acme of truth
when we answer to living
in the continence of life
.....
because we can
.....
is very clear








jakuper (9/20/11)

I'm Back.........FIAF #54 Kae's Challenge

....a vertical view of me....
in all my glory
strolling down easy street
with my past....under lock and key
....
not even central intelligence
can identify me

Invitations post-dated
from the edge of an insanity
I hope to never visit again....fill my rage
He will never know
I'm back

....again....

 to kill them both








jakuper (9/18/11)

Forgive me........A Roggy Moving Pic Challenge #28

"As soon as you forbid something,
you make it extraordinarily appealing.
You also bring shame in
as a phenomenon. "
Jock Sturges


Deeply missing our long conversations
and how pitifully plundered away
was precious time
here is me

....
with eyes closed
....
head bowed
 minus the knowing we would speak
is me
making my soul a little weak
as I pray
attempting to escape
to the past,
or even the future

I know...asking you
to forgive me
for time wasted
does nothing
for the backspacing
to memories

held so dear






jakuper (9/12/11)

With Sorrow, I Apologize.......FIAF #53

With sorrow, I apologize...
.....with respect and shame I now know
I was used to play a deadly game for cowards
I can't believe I did that

My sentence
......
to live as the husband of a wife taken
Her babies never to feel her loving caress again

My punishment
......
explain hate and love to them









jakuper (9/11/11)

So What.........A Roggy Moving Pic Challenge #28

Ssooooo what...!


now she'll get to see
what everyone else sees....
the birth of hurt
confused sorrow
cool grace
blind understanding

Now...deal with that

Here lies a guilty man
Just got back from snatching a heart
right out of a chest
attempting to erase every memory
every hope
every possibility
that futilely imprisons me

so I can finally be free

Fervently hoping to be vindicated of the fate I know I will face
This death chamber, not prepared for me
but regardless...a judgement is still falling upon me
Scheming mentally,
emotionally restless,
plucking the tears back
from watering eyes
I refuse to let you see me cry

I will just deal with my own penitence
for my own errors

I hurt you...so what
you didn't believe in me anyway
How many times have I heard you say

"You ain't sheet"

"Due to unpopular belief...you are not the same
and your humble pie or revenge cake
is not that sweet"

"If you play with fire, be prepared to get burned.
study your opponent.  
Don't buck then get scared
cuz then I get to watch your blood burn red"

"Great love like revenge..is always returned
with interest"

so what.....

so what....

so what....

so what....

so what
....

so!
....
what!
.....

now I know
pluck me
I ain't sheet

let the chips fall where they may









jakuper (9/8/11)

Flying High.......Bonny's FIAF #52

......One of life's true delights....

the power of nature in it's unchanging narrative,
celebrating the fury of the gods

Never like this...have I enjoyed pineapple sunglasses,
lethal doses of poison and wine....seat belt off.....flying high as a bird
 stringing pearls down corridors of eighty-sixed markers
that eagerly await

their next broach & desistance ascription






jakuper (9/4/11)

Untitled.......A Roggy Moving Pic Challenge #27

...........the last thing I remembered was being thirsty. 

I needed another drink.  The summer heatwave did not help my condition.  It only gave me permission...to take another sip.  I was contemplating cooling off.

 I looked around for my shoes, my shades, and my keys.  I grabbed the cup I was drinking out of...cause that's my special cup....when I'm feeling this way.  When I want what I want, ain't no use trying to tell me...that I've had enough, or...that I know I shouldn't be drinking as hot as it is....I am very capable of doing me impeccably.
It's hot.  Whewww.  Meaning...somewhere, somebody just like me, someone who can't stop drinking...is turning up their glass and relenting to the same thirst........trying to quench it.  Cheers!

How sweet it is....and my lips now know...it ain't gonna be a one time thang.  I choose to drink to the joy that it will bring.  Just putting the glass in my hand, and raising it to my mouth...excites me. Drips of gold slip out the side of my mouth.  Another sip.  Aaaaahh. 

I am cooled instantly.  It seems as if the journey from the glass, to my lips...is a bittersweet one.  Like a runner finishing the last leg of a grueling race....body dreaming, screaming, and grabbing, for the finish line.   Like the grace it takes to be a first place winner, in a contest you weren't sure to win. It's that first win. That first sip. You will never be the same again











Mmmmmmm.

It tastes soooo good.





( Like that first tastebud that becomes saturated with the wetness of your intended's love. OMG   Like plunging into an ocean at midday...with the sun bathing your exit to the surface.  Like being pulled....under water..........) Why do I feel like I'm flying...moving..around and around and around......around


Why...can't I start the car.....oooohh lol  looking out the side window...



............where my cup...? What.....what youwant




Who got my drink?




The car...turning around....andaround ummmmmmm umm my stomach..I think I'm drunk............






jakuper (9/1/11)