Wednesday's Challenge.....Scary Me

Proverbs 3:25    Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh.

 

 

Every since I was little, I was a scary child.  The first one to cry.  Afraid of almost anything I could not control.  Some of my earlier fears, which have followed me into my adult life are a fear of animals, heights, the dark, flying, and speaking in public.  We are taught that fear is of the devil.  But, sometimes things frighten me to the point that it interferes with my life.

When I was in school, everyone who knew me, knew I was very shy.   I would not get up to speak in front of people for 'nothing'.  I often took failing grades until my teachers realized that it wasn't that I didn't do the work; I just wasn't gonna read it in class.  This spilled over into my church activities very often.  I loved participating in the choir, the usher groups, and all the committees.  I remember being in the choir, and they tried to get me to sing a song, with my best friend.  A no go.  I couldn't.  I liked ushering because I only walked them to their seats, and went back to the door, and stood.  But, when someone called me to send a message, or get something from someone, I cringed. 
When I was in high school, a dog bit me, and I swore to myself I would never live in a house with animals. 

And, I never have.  I am afraid of snakes, spiders, caterpillars, and grasshoppers.  And, let's not forget seagulls.  When I would go to Atlantic City, on the boardwalk, I would freak out when they would come so close to me, even walking alongside me. 

My fear of heights, and flying may be related.  The ascension that I feel going up in elevators is so frightening.  The hospital here only has six floors.  Only in the last 4 years have I been able to go past the fourth floor.  That's because a friend just talked me into it.   Another friend has offered me an airplane ride anywhere, and I have yet to take it.  That means I will have one less fear.   I'm still praying on that one. 

My everyday fears that I have no control over are of being shot, murdered, raped, losing my mind, something happening to my son, my family, a terrorist act, being in a car wreck (I just hate driving fast on the interstate...too many people to trust), and the biggest one...not being ready when it's my time to leave this world. 

I know I do my thing, I am living beneath my privilege.  My life is not spiritually where it should be.  The human part of me has not come fully under subjection of what I know is right in my heart.  But, I am learning, living, and looking forward to become a better me, day by day.  it's a race...against time.  A battle, that I hope, and pray to win. 

 I figure, if I stay away from animals, elevators, airplanes, dangerous situations,away from mics and podiums, I will have a handle of the fear.  LOL.  I will have done all I can do to  make sure I live a life of faith.
 

 

your shyness is unique

          your shyness is special

                    your shyness is strong

 

to be shy is not weak

                for our minds are strong.

 

i see your shyness

i think its kinda cute

i see you peeking out

that window.......

go ahead...BLUSH!

diamonddeangelo@2004

 

 

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF......?

GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST!

Got something inside

that is constantly bothering you

you got a truth to spill

about some back alley blogs
confidential closed conferences

looking for trouble
looking for the next victim
the next tall tale

then bring it

You got a truth to spill
then sing it..

Clever word smiths

peeping toms

Scared to see
that someone
is who they say they are

scared someone is better than you
bigger than you

Now is your chance.

GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST!

Life is too short for holding shyt in
biting your tongue
rolling eyes no one can see

whatever you wanna say

to whomever you need to say it to
even if it's me...

You don't like my writing..

my approach

my looks...lol

come on

 

Let's free your mind!

 

Monday's Challenge...BULLSHYT!

Moving in stealth,
arrows poised and ready to shoot.

Here lies the subliminal intent
of an invisible enemy

Hiding

like porcupines in briar

Confiding

causing detrimental harm
and punishment

One unlucky asassinator for hire
Killed in the line of fire
with only one arrow of truth
through the muthafukking head

for misjudging
fudging
everything they said I said

Sludging thru shit
too old to remember

Totally wrong
for the progress you hinder

Always misinterpretated

Always without
any resounding proof

Fuck what you already heard

The acoustics
of these rumors
were already blazing
from anotha bitches word

This stalkin shyt

this talkin shyt

ain't nothing but shyt

Deal with it

infinite BULLSHYT

destined
for Hells Pit

Unloading

Loading again

When will this shyt
ever end...

 

 

jakuper(11/27/06)

SUNDAYS WITH JOYCE

WORD FOR TODAY:

 

Faith
1. Cling tightly to your faith    1 Timothy 1:19    Holding faith, and a good conscience; which some having put away concerning faith have made shipwreck:
2. Faith brings answered prayer    Matthew 15:28, 21:22    Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great is thy faith:  be it unto thee even as thou wilt.  And her daughter was made whole from that very hour.   Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.  And all things whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
3. Faith is certainty of what we do not see    Hebrews 11:1    Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen.
4. Live by faith, not by sight    2  Corinthians 5:7    (For we walk by faith, not by sight: )
5. When faith is tested, endurance grows    James 1:3    Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience

 

What Exactly is Faith?
  
 
  What exactly is faith?
Faith is like talking first
And paying attention later;
You assert what you don't see
And then remonstrate for
Not seeing it.

What exactly is faith?
Faith is like acting first
And explaining later;
You do what seems irrational
And then justify
Your doing it.

What exactly is faith?
Faith is like laughing first
And brooding later;
You rejoice at an aspiration
And then trust
That it will come about.

What exactly is faith?
Faith is like thanking first
And supplicating later;
You believe you have it already
Even though you still
Have not prayed for it.

samuel nze 
 

Be A Thanksgiver!

Portions taken from "Heaven's Letters"

 

Whatever occurs,
you swim in this pond of life.
You have this opportunity
to experience life.
This is an amazing thing.
What a gift
you have been given.
Thank God you have life.
If life has you in a whirl,
thank God
you can experience
what it is to be a-twirl in life.
And if you are penned in a corner,
thank God you can experience
what it is
to be penned in a corner.
You are experiencing life,
beloveds.
The whole carpet of life
has been rolled out for you.
Walk on it.
Don’t be timid.
This is life.

Consider life
a block of ice that you chip at.

Consider life a many-layered cake
made of many flavors and colors.
Lick your plate clean.

Consider life pick-up sticks.

Consider life a skein of yarn
for you to disentangle.
No explanations are needed.
As you disentangle a ball of yarn,
you disentangle a ball of your life on Earth..
You don’t have to know
how you are going to do it.
You just do it.

Consider that you are an explorer
in life.
Delve into it.
Pull out a plum.
Run up and down hill and dale.

Do not say you didn’t ask for life.
You asked for it.
You begged for the opportunity.
No longer may you think of life as a burden.
It is great blessing given to you.
A great ball of Earth
was thrown to you at your behest,
and you have to catch it.
Don’t balk at it.
Life is quite a natural thing.

The Earth is in your hands, beloveds.
It is yours to bounce.
It is yours to share.
It is always yours to catch.
Catch life on the fly.

He invested in you.
He gave you everything.
Now it is your turn.
What will you do
with everything given to you?
He gave you mountains and dales.
He gave you legs
to climb up and down.
He gave you a fertile mind
and limber limbs
to climb those mountains.
One step at a time,
you climb them.
Or perhaps you ride up them.
Or perhaps you fall down them.
No matter.
Pick yourself up and keep going.

 

You are a decorator on Earth.

You are a disseminator.

You are a propagator.

You are a proponent of life.

You are a giver of life.

And so be a thanksgiver.

Before You Realize

I will wait
here
as long as it takes
as long as my feelings last
just to feel
your touch
just so you know
I'm missing you
so much
I don't want to save myself
I'd rather lose myself
than lose the chance
to have this date with you
So you can tell me
the truth
just so you can confess
that the proof
is not written on her face
but, it is in my caress
How long should I lay here
and sustain
while
calling out your name
while silently
erotically
very privately
easing my own pain
How long
before it comes to pass
That you want me to have you again.
How long will I be a good girl
before I finally crack
How long do I have to say
It's you that I love
and there's no turning back.
How long
should I just lay here
wet,
and sexually spent
How long
before reality strikes
before
you realize
what it is
I really meant...

Your time is up

 

 

jakuper(11/23/06)

She 's Got Leggs

how do these legs make you feel?
 
care to join us in interpreting this pic?
 
 

 

lawd yes…….a natural mess

exotic length….sculpted strength

opening

closing

opening

closing

all the while me supposing

the feel of each

wrapped around my waist

or interlaced

with the thickness of my own

and

I

moan…….God I love you.

Tasted from the arch all the way to the part

that separates the right from the left

in one breath….I sigh in between

cry in between

fly in between

and the way they felt keeps me from forgetting

they represent the suns final setting

and the rising as well

yes…..a natural mess….making heaven of hell.

 

*of course you know this is JB's

 

My Dark ANgel

A fallen angel speaks to me.....

 

And I answer her--

My dark love
my one sinful desire
my fallen angel
plummeting
into lusts' raging fire
All my hopes
changing from bliss
cascading
helplessly
hopelessly
into the foggy abyss
Grabbing one last kiss
under the fantasy moon
One last sniff
from your tasty fingertips
Your flavor
and my flavor
that I so savor
as I lick my moistened lips
is gone too fast
left me
way too soon
You couldn't stay with me
lest you fall
or be taken away
Swirling
and twirling
losing control
Grab my hand, Baby
let's hold on to this night
This sexual flight

is not over yet

 

 

jakuper(11/19/06)

THINKIN ABOUT ME

Talk to me
what's happening
nice smile you got there
tell me what you thinking
what's on your mind
I see your eyes
darting
back and forth
pondering your next move
your next thought
don't think too hard
it's only me
and what you feeling
it's my anxiety
but I try
not to let it show
around you
acting cool and calm
so you won't know
just how much
you
affect me
Yeah even now
Just thinking about you
whispering your name
in my head
I do alot of exhaling
cuz you make me think
You make me wonder
what I would do
if you were really here
if you were mine
You feel it, too
Laughing...
I trail your lips
with my fingertips
touch your skin softly
and my senses take flight
you know I'm weak
weak as water
when you're near
Right now
I'm contemplating
wondering
hoping

 

that you're thinking about me

 

 

 

 

 

jakuper(11/18/06)

I GOT YOU!

If you fall, I will catch you
I'll be waiting
time
after time
whatever time we have
we can spend it
together
I feel your heart
beating faster
faster
faster
becuz mine is too
Exhale...
I place my hand
upon your heaving chest
calm down
You are not alone
I am here with you
I've always been here, Baby
If I open up my heart
for love
then I have to know
that pain is love
and love is pain
They are a package deal
just like you
and I
You're right
Yesterday is gone
All we have is today
What we feel right now
It's enough to start forever with
place your heart in my hands
and leave it there
Exhale...
Breathe, Baby...breathe
Feel my soul
telling you
it's ok
It's okay to love
It's ok to start over
breathe
just exhale

 

I got you!

 

 

 

JAKUPER(11/18/06)

 

 

SUNDAYS WITH JOYCE

WORD FOR TODAY

Light
1. Believers are full of light    Ephesians 5:8    For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light of the world:  walk as children of light.
2. Eye is a lamp for the body    Luke 11:34    The light of the body is the eye:  therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body is full of darkness.
3. God lives in unapproachable light    1 Timothy 6:16    Who only hath immortality, dwelling in the light which no man can approach unto; whom no man hath seen, nor can see:  to whom be honor and power everlasting.  Amen.
4. Let our lives shine brightly    Philippians 2:15    That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverted nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world;
5. God's Word is a lamp    Psalms 119:105    Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path

 

 

The Glorious Light

One night while looking above
I saw a light shining in the sky
It twinkled gloriously of God's love.
So beautifully bright...by and by.

It was a cold, crisp, clear night.  
I could see forever and ever.
The beauty of everything so bright.
It was a night I wouldn't forget...never.

There were millions of twinkling stars.
Each with a brilliance all its own...
Shining near by and away so far.
Letting me know I wasn't alone.

Then all of a sudden, one star stood out.  
It came to me as if in a dream.
Capturing my attention without a doubt.
Bringing God's message, it seems.

 

In the center was a magnificent sight.
An Angel that was sight to behold.
Her omnipresence was a glorious light.
She was dressed in soft white and gold.

Saying "God has sent me here.  
Because He loves you so.
He wants you to know He holds you dear.
He will never, ever let you go."

From that moment on I knew I was all right.
And I knew that alone I would never be.
Just hold close to that beautiful sight.
The Angel saying "God loves me".

Our God is so very just.  
He loves us each and every one.
In Him we must place our trust.
For His work is one on one...

~© TheLadyPeach ~

 

Everyday the sun comes up, it is God's way of saying to us: 

I love you! 

I have not forgotten you!

Misery Needs Company.....EnchantingParadise/jakuper

MISERY

All I can do is sit here
Bare and
Exposed
Hoping to cleanse myself
And free myself
From all this pain
They say misery needs company
Why did it have to seek out me?
To be its friend
I was minding my own business
In a world where I never
Had the urge to know love
But you appeared
And lured me into a place
Of great expectations
Only to be left empty handed
Alone
And filled with such a savage pain
In my heart
That I could tear the paint off the walls
With my bear hands
I have no tears
They refuse to fall
Refuse to release my soul
As punishment for
The grave mistake I made
By taking you into my heart
Numbed and shattered
By the reality of your deception
I am overwhelmed with grief
Devastated
I turn to the shadows of my walls
To hide me
To take away my shame
But they cannot spare
Me from the destruction
That runs rampant inside me
Tearing me up
Breaking me apart
Slowly and perfectly
Until I have nothing left
No feeling
No memory of emotion
Just me
Lost
Fragile
Unaware
Just me
Crushed
Alone
Bare

COMPANY

Aawww
Come here
Take my hand
Get up from there
You don't have any reason
to feel sad
All the tears
in this old world
won't wash your pain away
Let me hold you
It wasn't love
that did this to you
Someone who did not know
what they had
with you
in you
Taking you
for granted
is the stupidest thing
they coulda done
Don't cry
It wasn't meant to be
You weren't lured into love
you love your heart
and found out their love
couldn't handle you
They lost...dear
not you
Stop crying now
You still have your heart
your loving heart
In time
that pain
will be replaced
with a brand new love
a brand new chance
with new memories
of how real love
can truly be
happy
hopeful
exciting
giving
receiving
secure

and full of joy

 

 

 

Nimah's Challenge.....TO LOVE YOU!

My life
has been touched
because we have walked
a special walk together
because you matter to me
because we are friends
because you have given me courage
because I care

and

I love you

 

As much as we crave these words to be blessed upon us by our loved ones, it is far better to 'give' than 'receive'.  For love is so splendid, that it only needs an open hand, or an open heart to receive it.  If we all would practice telling those we love that we appreciate them, while they are within reach of the words, Oh, how much happier the soul of man would be.  Love is it's most powerful when it is being given away.  God always makes room in our hearts for more.  Our pain is His love growing within us.  Our tears are His wanting to show us just how important we are to Him, and the world. 

I am slowly discovering that my life is more blessed than I realize.  While some people search for love, steal for love, and even kill for love; some give up on it.  But,  I have so much of it all around me.  And, it's not even that I want to attain it.  because, to me, someone truly loving you, is it's own reward.  I heard of the saying, 'to court a bliss, and not attain it..'  That is so true, for me.  The feeling I felt when you first told me you loved me, was priceless.  Yeah, that's one of our favorite words.  One of the many things that only we share. 

Do we really own love? 

How close is it fitting in our scheme of things? 

Do we revere it, as we should?  

No.  But, we still want it from others.  Now me--I like the feeling when I only need open my heart, and think about you, and I feel all that love is supposed to make me feel...just remembering you.  Love is more powerful than any human ties, and rules we live by.  Love transcends time, space, and labels.  It will be recognized.  If it is real, I will feel it.   Take for instance, when a famous person dies, and out hearts are saddened.  Is it not love we feel?  Even though we have never met them, or touched them, they prick our hearts with emotions sent from their words.  Anything you love, does not necessarily have to be tangible.   God is living proof of that!

Staring at this rose, and how rich it is, I can't help but think of you.  As a matter of fact, when I saw it, your face was there, beside it.  I could hear your laughter, and feel your presence.   I know you think that sometimes, I am ignoring you, and going about my business.   But, I keep you in that "safe" place, where no one can destroy my image of you.   And, no matter what's going on around me...I still feel you.  And smile.  Should you ever, and I mean EVER feel a sad day in your life, should you feel less than appreciated, or feel that I have forgotten you, or who you are to me, just come back to this place...this time.  This moment.  And 'know',  all the love that I can possibly give to another person, is wrapped up, in you. 

What did you do to deserve this?  Not alot.  But, then it's everything, to me.   Just by being you.  Just by giving me the courage to be me, when I am around you.  Your faith, in our friendship.  I will never take it for granted.  You do not owe me anything, because my reward is in the way I feel....knowing I have done what God wants me to do...

and that is.... to love you!

 

 

JAKUPER(11/16/06)

 

A Wirting Exercise...TORTURED, ANYWAY

 

I was unwilling to be a pawn
in your impugning psycholigical game
I faced my punishment
with my head turned away in shame
For the inexorable torture you submit me to
I still will not bow to you
I refused to do
what you wanted me to do
Now, look at you~
Arrows piercing deeply in my skin
grimacing in pain...
Still, I won't give in
How ignorant are you still
if I continue to resist
I would rather die an even slower death
How about hanging myself...
shooting myself
I was being tortured by you, anyway
Hell, why don't you just slit both my wrists
I know you got to be enjoying this
You really want to see me wincing
in excriciating pain...
Just pull these bloodied stakes out
and stick me again
Take a knife
and slice me, please
Come on with the punishment
don't be such a timid tease
Regardless of what you do
I would rather suffer any intensive pain
with trails of blood seeping from my veins
But, until you stop snoring, Baby

I won't be sleeping with you, again!

A Writing Exercise.....ANGELS ALL AROUND US

Dwelling
in the darkness
of primordial night,,
the night no longer frightens me. 
I look for it now. 
It is in the night that pearls
of wisdom,
and saving grace
flow into my body,
and my mind. 
I am so comfortable
talking with my own angels
about life stuff
love stuff
heart stuff
philosophical stuff. 
Yeah, stuff. 
These days,
my concentration
is on things
not even of this world.
My destiny
seems more important
than these momentary hiccups
of happenings going on
in a world that still does not understand grace
or the reason we have pain
It is sad to have
so many opportunities now
and to try to blame night
for what the days
did not bring
Angels
all around us
bringing us songs
music that the Heavens

have yet to sing

Brown Eyes Beware

Last night
during one of my many
insomniac fits
with my face buried deep
under my pillow
I schemed
and dreamed
Seen so many things
that looked like
what I said I needed
but my dreams were just that--
my dreams
Then I met your smile
softly simple
seemingly sincere
Ahhhh, what have we here
Had me even tangling my words
inside my head
mistyping everything
I mentally said
frantically
mentally
backspacing
and hitting delete
trying to make my thoughts
more sincere
more teasingly sweet
I'm trying so hard enlighten you
not frighten you
~laughing to myself~
I only wish to know
the sweetness of your smile
why your eyes twinkle
and if
in your words
I can stay
and rest for a while
That's really all I want for now
Excuse me if I stare
It's just that your ambiance
has so much longing there
couldn't be no wrong in there
I know it's got to be true
I'm telling my own eyes what not to do
Brown eyes beware
so much trust to be earned
so much truth to be learned

in just a simple stare

Mondays SP Exercise.......Beautifully

It happens
every morning
and lasts throughout the day
Your beautiful scent
still fills our bed
still lingers in my head
I wish you'd come back home
I want to wrap my arms around you
softly caress your neck
as we share a beautiful kiss
Soft touches across your skin,
silky smooth
almost like a dream
Beautiful is the sweet breeze
that enters in
when you step into the room
when you enter into my world
My body tenses beneath your touch
as your hand forks through my hair
Your body moves to greet mine
my hand floats across your flesh
I arch as I enter your space
A moment we will never forget
while exploring our own limits of love
our own definition of love
Erotically exposing our souls to each other
Melting in that moment
both of us vow that this is forever
even if it is too early to tell
I still am lost
in your sweet smell
Your beautiful memory
that still fills our bed
lingering
beautiful
beautifully

...in my head

 

jakuper(11/13/06)

More Questions....

 

 

1. Today I was pondering
2. If I  can.....
3. Three things on my to do list....
4. Somthing Im dying to do is.....
5. Have I ever told you....
6. Something  you may not know about me ..
7. A little bit of...
8. Kisses are....
9. What I am thinking now....
10. My greatest gift is......
11, My least favorite trait is....
12. I have......
13. I rarely......
14. These things make me....
15. Something to remember about me...
16. Sundays are made for...
17. Never say.....

JUST LOVE......?

JUST lOVE.....?

....is that all you need? How beautiful it is ..for friends to join together, in the spirit of love. To clasp warm, comforting hands and hearts in prayer. God gave us today. He gave us resources to connect daily. His grace kept us alive one more night. I am lifting up our souls in a dance of praise, and worship for being in the land of the living.

Last night, resting under the cobalt dusting of night, I worried so much about whether I would wake up this morning...so I tossed and turned as I slept; bad dreams attempting to arrest my spirit. But, the most beautiful part of it, that I failed to recognize...was that He was holding me, while I slept. He was smiling down on me, as I tossed, and turned. I prayed before I went to sleep, and felt no stress...just those demons of the darkness...trying to make me afraid for my life.

We both need to feel comfort, and love, as we pray. "Our Father, which art in Heaven. Hallowed would be thy name....." These words ring so pungent within my spirit, as I send channels of love into your being. Gods perfect peace I wish for us...always believing that souls united in prayer, as being far more powerful than the daily frets, and shimmers of doubts that the enemy has stored up for us. He is relentless, even as he knows that evil is no match for good. That the soul that seeks truth, love, and peace is far more powerful than a contrite spirit.

Holding your heart in my arms..until that bad feeling is gone. Even if it means never letting go.....

SUNDAYS WITH JOYCE

WORD FOR TODAY

Darkness
1. God callled darkness 'night'    Genesis 1:5    And, God called the light Day, and the darknes He called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
2. Lord marks the darkness    Isaiah 45:7    I form the light, and create darkness:  I make peace, and create evil:  I, the Lord, do all those things.
3. No harmony between light and darkness    2 Corinthians 6:14,    Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:  for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness?  and what communion hath light with darkness?   
4. Minds full of darkness    Ephesians 4:18    Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:
5. Our hearts were once full of darkness    Ephesians 5:8    For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord:  walk as children of light:

 

 

Our Deepest Fear
By Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us;
It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we're liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

 

 

I especially like  "Isaiah 45:7    I form the light, and create darkness:  I make peace, and create evil:  I, the Lord, do all those things."   In this I an reminded that God creates the darkness, and we need not be afraid of the dark.  

We often think that evil, taboo, and the secret desires rule us, or that we should not dwell within it's clutches, but God is ALWAYS more powerful than "any" evil, or "dark" force we come up against.  He will not let us be overtaken, beyond that which we can handle.  He would not put more on us than we can bear.  

He is the KING of the night and day.  There is no temptation that cometh unto man, that He has not made a way for us to escape.

What is your Personality Type & your Expression Number?

what's YOUR personality type...& your expression number?

You Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal. A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways. In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music. You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for. You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

What's Your Personality Type?

 

 

Your Expression Number is 3

A natural performer, your destiny lies in writing, speaking, acting, or teaching. Imaginative and unique, you have a natural creative talent in the arts. You're also a natural salesperson. You can easily sell your ideas and yourself. A total optimist, you are enthusiastic about life and living. You are friendly and social - and people are taken by your charm. Your role in life is to inspire, motivate, and raise others' spirits. At times, you can seem a bit superficial. Sometimes you're a bit unfocused and too easygoing. You're best off when you don't dwell on trivial matters, especially gossip.

What's Your Expression Number

THE KISSING GAME

WHAT ARE YOUR 3 FAVORITE TYPES OF KISSES?

 

Lollipop Kiss

Take your partner and gently pull her close to you. Lick her bottom lip, and proceed to french kiss her. Then when she needs to take a breath, cause most girls and guys need a break anyways, grab her tongue ever so gently with your lips and run them over it.

Marco Polo Kiss

First one of you need to figure out who's marco and who's polo. Then you play the game like marco and polo. Except instead of just touching them, you have to embrace them in your arms and kiss him/her. It's great fun.

Dive Gear Kiss

While diving in a pool, one person wears a diving mask and the other person has to close their eyes and hold on to the mask-wearing person really close. Then trade the inhaling part of the dive gear.  Take a deep breath and take the inhaler part away. Kiss the person wherever or however you like, then switch places. This should only be done with some one you truly trust would not hurt you.
 

Steam Kiss

You or your partner drink a very hot drink while the other drinks a very icy cold one and see if there's some steam. It's fun because if it doesn't work, just keep trying!

Who Lasts Longer Kiss

Sit very close to each other, your lips almost touching, arms where you please. Sit like this, very close, and see who can go the longest without kissing the other. It's great fun, because you can lose on purpose and still win!

Do What You Want Kiss

This is always fun. One of you just lies there, and the other does whatever he or she wants to give pleasure. Then, you switch roles. See who can give the most satisfying kiss, with the other not participating at all.

Pepper Kiss

Take a hot pepper and roll it on your lips then kiss your partner. It give the kiss a kick. (Note use peppers as hot as you or your partner can take, but not too hot or it will just burn and ruin the kiss.)

Lip Venom

Before you go to kiss your partner, apply lip venom to your lips when he isn't looking. Lip venom is a safe cosmetic item that you can buy at Scarlets and other cosmetic stores and what it does is it draws the blood to your lips, making them red and tingly. A little bit goes a very long way and can still be passed up until probably about a half an hour after applying. When your partner kisses you, he will have this sensual feeling running through his lips for the rest of the day

Marathon Kissing

See how long you can kiss for (try 5 - 10 minutes straight)

Candy Kiss

Use either a Jolly Rancher or some type of hard candy/mint.  Either you or your partner place the candy in your/their  mouth and then it is like a game of keep away.  Whoever starts tries to keep the candy in their mouth while the other  person tries to get it in theirs.  But you can only use your tongue and lips.  This can be very fun if you have the right  partner!!!  Enjoy.

The Tickle Kiss

In this kiss you make use of the fact that the roof of the mouth is the most ticklish part of the body. Begin a normal French kiss and (be sure your partner understands the game) stroke your tongue across the roof of each other's mouth. This will create almost unbearable chills down your spine and the winner is the person who can stand them  because the loser pulls away. The best part about this kiss is that it is different every time and always fun.
Name Kiss

If u have run out of things to do with your tongue spell your name. This works very well and everyone likes
it!

Tongue Wars

Each person tries to get their tongue in the other persons mouth while they try to get their tongue in your mouth. Each person "blocks" the other persons tongue with theirs. The winner gets to pick the next type of kiss. This game is great for reliving first make-out tension.

Starburst Trick

Out a starburst in your mouth, and while French kissing try to unwrap it! Enjoy!

Ring Kiss

What you do is take a ring off your finger and put it on your tongue. Then while you and your partner are French kissing, he tries to slip it on the tip of his tongue! It is a lot of fun!

Tongue Tease

When you're French kissing, if/when you pull back, and before your mouths meet again, you can flick your tongue up and down quickly against the other person who is doing the same.  It's very teasing and fun to see how long it lasts.  Its hard to resist going strong after a while of flicking.

 

MASTERING PEACE

If the tapestry of my life
is to be considered a true masterpiece.
Then I must learn
to master peace.
It must be at the center
of all activities
It must be the goal
of all communications.
Mastering peace
does not mean avoiding conflict
Mastering peace does not mean
escaping from confrontation
It means seeking to calm,
rather than to disrupt
It means seeking to help,
rather than hurt
It means disagreeing
without being disagreeable
It means being constructive
in criticism rather than using words that
stab like a sharp dagger
It means holding my tongue,
rather than rattling off a string of
expletives I wouldn't want my mother
to hear me repeating
It means preserving my temple,
and requiring others to do the same.
The strokes I paint
are the decisions I make,
the words I choose and
the actions I take.
I may have to change colors
(my outlook),
Change brushes
(the people in my circle),
Change canvas
( my environment)
from time to time.
Today I am creating a beautiful masterpiece.

Today I will master peace.

 

 © Enna A. Bachelor 2005 All Rights Reserved

 

Raven's Fridays' Challenge....

"Come here!  You have eluded me long enough.  It is now time for you to perform your wifely duties.  To hold you captive, against your will, is not my wish for your future here.  I have brought you underground, so that you may live out your days, with me.  Here, among those just like you."  Shaking with fear at the commanding tone in which she speaks, I rise slowly, and walk towards her.  She is so much larger than the rest of us, making me wonder if she, indeed is a woman.  "You doubt me?  Simply because of my appearance.  I assure you, I am just as potent as any male you have ever experienced, in your lifetime.  Yet, I will not force myself upon you, even if you do belong to me.  I can read your thoughts.  I know your emotional limits.  There is nothing you feel that I'm not aware of, as long as you are in my world.  But, once you leave this world, you will be free.  And privy to the consequences of normal living.  You belong to me,now.  Get used to it."

'But, why me?  What could you possibly want with me?  Surely you could find women more worthy than I, to surrender to you, to worship.  Why do you covet my simplicity?  I am afraid of you.    If I surrender to you, what kind of life will I be succumbing to?  Where are the rest of the women?  It's cold here, and dark.  Is it night all the time here?'   "Guards, bring me the most recent slave.  The one who continues to defy me; refusing to give me what I want.  Asking too many questions, just as this one is.  So this one can see, that I am not to be toyed with."   I watched, as two burly men disappeared into a door to the right, marked only with a D on the door.  'What is D for?'   "You really don't want to know."  I'm standing before her, still afraid, but I know she isn't playing.  I can feel it.  I also feel her reading my thoughts.  Knowing I am questioning how I got here, and what went wrong; how did I get picked for this life. 

I was just sitting at the bar, drinking.  Thinking.  This nice looking young lady walked up to me, and said good evening.  I said HI.  We talked, laughed, and shared a few drinks at a table in a corner, by the end of the bar.  I remember when I got up to go to the bathroom, I felt very drunk.  She said she would escort me to the car.  She wanted to drive me home.  I resisted, calling her every unholy name in the book.  I was always told, never let a stranger take you home.  I remember arguing, and then......I woke up, here.

The guards came back, and brought this thin, dirty, and smelly woman, and placed her beside me.  She looked up at me, from her weakened stance, aided by the men, and said, " If you do surrender, you will regret it"  And she passed out.  They dragged her back to the where she came from.  "Don't ask anymore questions!"  I knew not to think, because she would know what I was thinking.....  My thoughts now, became my fight to survive, over my choices.  What could she have meant by I would regret it.  There's only one way to find out.  Surrender.  "Alright, you win.  I surrender.  Let's get this over with.  What do I have to do?   Sleep with you?  That should be easy enough.  Doesn't look like a hard task.  I don't know why she wouldn't, but I'm all yours.  Let's do this." 

I could hear the guards laughing among themselves.  What was that all about?  Would I live to regret this decision?  What kind of carnal deeds will I be required to perform at the hands of this beast?  How will I be able to remain true, even if she knows my every thought, when I think it?  Will she allow me to think on my own?  What if she asks me to do something I absolutely refuse to do? 

The guards escort me to a palace.  They show me to my room, which is adorned with yellow lights.  A king sized bed over next to the window.  The window has barbed wire inside the glass.  No one can see out, or in.  The glass is stained yellow.  Statutes are all around the room.  Music is playing.  Instrumentals.  The covers are pulled back on the bed, and a beautiful gown lies in the chair on the side of the dresser.  "Come join me in a bath.  The freshening up will do you good.  We have so much to catch up on.  I intend to make your stay as fulfilling as you allow me to.  I hope you like your room, as this is where you will be living now.  Everything I think you need, will be provided for you.  You only serve me.  With no complaints, either.  You will not want to make me angry, because I can be a real bastard when angered.  Come!" 

The men left the room, and I looked around, before going into the bathroom.  The closets were filled with clothes; most with price tags still visible.  Looking down, shoes of every color.  I walked towards the bathroom door, and I could smell candles burning.  I opened the door.  It was beautiful!

Candles, all around .  Mirrors everywhere.  The ambiance was so romantic, that I could feel myself getting into a mood with this stranger, in this unbelievably intimate setting.  Nothing made sense, but I was drawn to it.  I wanted it.  Even if just for tonight.  I saw her figure, and I gasped.  It was beastly, but erotically drawing me. 

I could see breasts, and her tone was now much lower.  She was laying beneath the bubbles, smiling.  I don't trust that smile.  Damn.  But, why am I drawn to her?  I turn, to step out of my clothes, so I could join her in the tub.  Once naked, I walked towards the tub, and got ready to step in.  I stopped.  She was vigorously stroking her dick.  Oh my damn!  Oh my Damn!   Everything in me quickened.  She could tell I was turned on.  My nipples hardened, and my clit is throbbing.  The biggest dick I have ever seen.  She looked up at me, and said, "SUCK"

Picture Interpretation....Come Closer

Seduce her

In 35 lines, or less

Show me what you got!

You Say Whaaaatttt?

When I woke today....
Right now I'm thinking.....
Tomorrow I will.......
Without you I'd be......
I often think that......
Someone once told me......
Yesterday is....
Today is......
Tomorrow is......
People can see your.....
The best companions are.....
The reason I'm writing this is because.....
My thoughts right now are.....
Now I'm gonna go.......
My ex is a.......
I love to........when I'm home alone
People say that I'm.... when I'm frustrated
I don't understand why...
When I wake up in the morning....
I lost my....
Life is full of....
My past is....
I get annoyed when....
House parties are....
I wish I could....
Tommorrow....
I have low tolerance for.....
If I had one more day, I would.......

I'm totally terrified......

A Writing Challenge....Seducing a Vampire

I want to know the secrets of Vampires. and be able to have an intelligent conversation with you about what it is you really do. I remember the first time we met. it was early in the morning. I was on my way to work, and I spotted you, going inside your house. But, you looked different somehow. Like you had been fighting, and you were staggering. I slowed down as I passed your house, and you looked at me. Those yellow eyes. And I could have sworn I saw blood on your mouth. I figured you had been in a fight.

That worried me the whole day, and when I got home, I came by to check on you. No one answered. "Yes. I had been out all night. I was very tired. But I did notice you. I was drawn to the compassion in your eyes, and even in my weakened state, I was taken by your beauty. I wanted you."

And the first time we met. You remember that? I was taking my evening walk. I encountered you, walking behind me. I guess you knew you frightened me, so you spoke. Told me your name, and we chatted, while walking around the block, and back. You were so courteous, and polite. Don't ask me why I wanted to trust you, being I have never trusted a man since my best friend was attacked, early last year in the park. I started walking around the neighborhood with friends, but they stopped. And, I kept walking. "What do you want from me, lovely lady? Why do you require my services this evening?" Oh, yeah. LOL. You see, I'm inquisitive by nature. That's how I found out about you. That's how I eluded you. "Do you really think you were eluding me, Dear one?"   Well, yes. I knew to stay away from you at night. I knew you need blood to live. Fresh blood.

Let me tell you my dream last night. I was drinking from a goblet containing a red liquid, As I drink, I could taste blood, and I heard your voice, commanding me to drink all of it. I woke up sweating, and I can still taste blood on my lip. "And you say I can't get to you...Hmmmm. Continue." I think it's possible that my mind remembered being a vampire, in a past life. Why did I suspect you from the beginning? Why am I not afraid of you? What I'm trying to say is...I want you to bite me. Let me see what it's like. "But, my dear lady, if I bite you, you will cease to be mortal. You will be as I am. You will crave blood for your diet, as well. I would not wish my fate on someone as fair as you. I feed from the human life force. I am emotionless. You would be the prey. My whole aim is to subdue you, and feed my hunger. You do know that I will eventually have you, don't you?" I sat still. Looking in his eyes, as he spoke. He didn't know what was going on in my mind. He couldn't.

It could be that I am tired of life, as it is. I have tried it all. Nothing works for me. Relationships, family problems, friendships, and don't mention religion. I live by so many rules. And, all of them have consequences. They all sentence me to death. Death of a relationship, death if I don't cross every 'i', or dot every 't'. People dying everyday. Nothing lasts forever. I am so tired of coming to the end of the road. See, If you bite me, I can live forever. You know? I don't have to worry about consequences anymore. Just a bite, is a small price to pay, to live forever. I don't wanna die. "Your plea is so impassioned. It would seem that you have thought it out carefully, have you not?" I really have.

" A killers heart does not reside in all of us. The disconnect from humanity murder represents is wonderfully poetic. I have no sympathy for humans or the problems they create amongst themselves. Blending in has always been a challenge for one such as myself." I reach up to grab his hand, and pull him close to me. He pulls me forward to him, looks me in my eyes, and says, "We represent the purest forms of love and hatred. They are one and the same. I have not entered this community of dreamers for sympathy or favor. I only wish for one chance to prove that I am worthy of such a palate as yourself.

l lust after blood, my limbs go weak, but they feel so strong at the same time......my heart is a lake of darkness-- still and stagnant. I roam in the dark, under the starry skies"  See, that's what I want!  I am tired of living a normal existence. I know you're about to go kill again, tonight. I smell it. "I think its better for me to be alone." I kiss him. If this is the only way to stop the madness, please, cure me. Take me away! I want to live forever. Please don't go. With tears rolling down my eyes, I gazed into his. I saw his soul. I wasn't afraid. I felt fire. Sexual fire. He pulled me to him, and kissed me deeply. In my mind, I'm yelling, craving, "Do it. Do it!"

I feel him, giving in to me. He takes his time with me. Kissing me passionately, now. I know he will take me, and I won't ever be the same again. He laid me on the bed, peeling my clothes off, piece by piece. I gave my will to him. I gave my life to him. My past, and my future. I lay there still, and hungry for him. A lust that time will not again hinder. We will be together always. My body, made room for him to enter, subdue me, and to take me to his world. This world, no longer holding any savor for me. I watched, passively, as he took his clothes off. His bare hairy chest heaving as he stood beside me. Still, gazing into my eyes.

He bent down to kiss me, once again. His hands felt like fire on my flesh, as he caressed my breasts softly. My body no longer belonged to my desires; it was what he desired of me. That, would I perform. I shivered as he sucked my breasts. First softly, then roughly, an indication that he was aroused. His breath burned my skin, just as much as my own craving burned, inside of me, to be a part of him. He stood. His facial features seemingly changing before my eyes. Equalling his lust. I turned away from his arousal, for it was the last thing I wanted. But, that didn't matter either, now. It was the transforming, traveling to a new form of existence, that I craved more..

He stood before me, with his erect dick in his hands. Demanding that I look at it. "In this is life. This is how you will live with me forever. You will carry my seed. We will live together, forever. There is nothing to fear . The passage of life is with the sex organs. Anything else, is for human pleasure. You served your life well, having a mortal son. Now, you will have my sons. Immortal sons." The more he talked he was becoming harder, and more erect. And, turning me on, also. He made me want him. Want his dick inside me. 'Please, show me the way to your world. I'm ready to take you. I'm yours. I want it.'

He climbed on top of me. Reached for my legs, opened them, placing one on each shoulder, as he slid his body close to mine. I became dizzy. Delirious, as he rubbed his dick up and down the length of my pussy. As if he was teasing it. I moaned out loud. Bringing back to mind the first time I had sex. And, how I knew the moment life passed from him, into me. My body took his in; the fullness of him. We rocked back and forth for endless moments, before he leaned into me, to kiss me. While still thrusting in and out of me. HE BIT ME. The hot, stinging prick from his bite, stung for only seconds. Realizing what had happened, heightened my orgasm. At that moment, I knew I was pregnant, with his child. I lay there, dazed. Dripping wet. Feeling like I had been drugged, and trying to hold on to him, while the transformation took place. While he emptied his life, eternal life, into me. But, I was falling into a deep sleep. Dozing off, I could feel him exiting me.

The next morning, I woke up. He was gone. But, he left me this note,

"I’ve been a vampire for some seven score years now, ever since that fateful night when I was drained of my humanity by a beautiful dark Goddess of the night. I left my mundane life behind, and now I do great things, like helping old ladies cross the street. Then watching them shriek in horror as I empty their worthless veins and leave their lifeless husks in alleyways. Yes, being a vampire is all you’ve heard it is. Except for the part where nobody will hire me because I can only work at night, and I can only kill people who are stupid enough to invite me into their homes. Do you know how hard it is to convince someone you’re a Jehovah’s Witness at two in the morning?
P.S. The nightly feedings will hurt for a while, though. Don't be nervous about being allergic to water and the sun. I am very excited for our future.... Love, Paul"

I never knew his name before now. I must really be a vampire......

A Sp Exercise....JoAnne

 

 

JoAnne

 

Fate has joined us together
to live our lives parallel
to each other
A reflection
of the other side of effect
Cause--we were meant to be
fraternally equal
eternally true
I see our life
as we're struggling
to climb
the rocky mountains of fate
and get home
before it gets too late
We both racing to that door
where trouble
and sacrifice
threatens no more
Your determination impresses
even as life undresses
reality before you
How is it that the optimist
is always able
to see the world
in a grain of sand,
and to see heaven in a wild flower,
hold infinity in the palm of your hands,
and eternity in an hour.
while those of us who doubt
that true love exists only see ruin
and time running out
When you are tired of struggling
I will take your hand
Heart to heart
breast to breast
We are only a grain
of mustard seed away
from passing
this one important test
It's raining outside
Clouds are gathering fast
what will we do?
Close your eyes and remember
on a little eternity
Just enough to get us by
Wish for God's eternal love
to be with us every step of the way
It is in His hands
that we shall rest our souls

at the end of the day

 

joyce ann(11/8/06)

5...An Sp Exercise

She reminds me of this flower
five times I walked past it
     five times I turn back
          five times I change my plan of attack
     five times to make it right
five times I decided to put up a fight
It was one of a kind
worth every time I changing my mind
     Five petals that fragranced the wind
          Five senses making me desire her
over and over again
     Five silent conversations
I had with myself
          five nights of sleep I missed
could have been holding her tight
     five fingers to touch her lips
          five times to thrust against
her thirsty hips
Right before my eyes
She melted
into my fantasy
into every woman
I wanted her to be
making her that much closer to me

 

Fatigued......Sp Exercise

 

 

To ambush your heart
was not my original intent
even though this relationship
started out exciting
beautiful
intriguing
and heavensent
Fatigue
has left us dizzy
The peaceful paradise
we both existed in
has crumbled
Our love lies lifeless
beneath the bane
of words
spoken
shouted out
not thought out
hurtful
too wantonly bold
leaving too many scars
a slight bitter taste
promises
gone to waste
Jasmine
mixed with tainted oils
The strain of the tension
has made a frown
upon your lovely face
Both of us
victims of spoils
plants sown
in hardened soils
Places we could no longer fix
Wounds exacted by harsh words
maybe too deep to mend
It hurts my heart, too
losing you
after choosing you
Nothing that I do from now on
will be without thoughts
of doing them
with you

my sweet and loving friend

 

 

jakuper(11/6/06)

shining star

I trust me

to love you

but not to hurt you

I trust

me to listen

yet,

sometimes

I may not hear

I can honor you

today

but what about a year?

I think I'm afraid

that you won't stay

so I kiss you

then I run away!

I go through the trouble

of finding you

learning your outs

and ins

but I cannot seem

to move past

 being just a friend.

I think

I want to keep you

in a place

I won't have to lose you

when

competition comes

to offend;

In my life

friendship

is the only thing

I can depend

I trust me to treasure you

regardless

of where you are.

As long as I know

you're happy

you will always be

my

shining star

 

The True Tragedy.....Re-Post from 360

I am sitting here today  amidst noises and the silence that I am so used to in the morning.  My mind travels back to conversations we once enjoyed.  How we would sit for hours, talking, laughing, and discovering new things about each other.  How everyday brought a new experience, and a new insight into what makes you the unique person you are to me today.  I stop, and pause...to smile, remembering certain words you used to say...things that only you could breathe life into.  I learned so much from you.  How to love with no conditions.  How to brave your own inhibitions, and fears ..to challenge everything you are..for what you hope to acheive. 

       I was talking to a friend yesterday, and she challenged me to write a poem reflecting a single thought-tragic.   I thought it would be easy initially, so I agreed.  As I started to think about something tragic, I found it very hard to put my feelings about it in poem; a single thought.  I only stabbed at a few lines of senseless phrases, and after a while, I gave up.   But, I knew in my heart what tragic means to me.

       Tragic is living your whole life never knowing love.   It is the constant search through what seems like futile efforts.  It is the anguish in finding out your love is not reciprocated....it is the gruesome madness of having someone snatched from you by some unseen accident.  Tragic is having your loved ones' life stolen by a drunk driver, or a disaster by an act of terrorism, war, or nature.  Tragic is all of these things...but to me, it gets so much more personal. 

      The most tragic thing to me in my life today...is never being able to look upon the face of you.  To share such strong emotions.  To be suspended moment after moment by your spirit that feels as close to me as the hairs on my arm.  To be able to touch the curves in your mouth that creates a smile, or a frown.  To actually see emotions registered when you call my name, or your reaction when coming into my presence.  "Don't you wanna see the face of the one who loves you?"   "Don't you want to kiss the lips that whisper your name?"  Questions, that time has not answered for me.  Tragic to have to close the heart off from thinking.... or wondering beyond the present..... to empty hands that reach out into the night for loves'  gentle caress. 

    Tragic that we are limited by time, space, location, and circumstance.  That what we share will only be real in spirit, and in our  hearts. Tragic is...never meeting you....Having lost so much in my life, I know what pain is.  And I have to live with this ache, this grief, this torment.  But to know that you are being loved, I can go on....

       Tragic ....the true tragedy is not losing you, but never knowing you!

 

 

SUNDAYS WITH JOYCE

WORD FOR TODAY

Apologetics
1. Be light o the world    Mathew 5:14    Ye are the light of the world.  A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid.
2. Be ready with answer    1 Peter 3:15    But, sanctify the Lord God in your hearts:  and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.
3. Be salt    Matthew 5: 13    Ye are the salt of the Earth:  but if the salt has lost its savor, where with shall it be salted?  It is henceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men
4. Contend for the faith    Jude 3    Beloved, when I gave all diligence to write unto you of the common salvation, it was needful for me to write unto you, and exhort you that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints.
5. Paul reasoned with the Jews and the Gentiles    Acts 17:2; 18:4,9    And Paul, as his manner was, went in unto them, and three sabbath days reasoned with them out of the scripture.    And he reasoned in the synagogue every sabbath, and persuaded the Jews and the Greeks.    And he came to Ephesus, and left them there:  but he himself entered into the synagogue, and reasoned with the Jews.

 

 

 

When you have a decision to make, know that what you decide is not monumental. Here is some monumental advice, however: Do not make decisions from fear, nor make decisions to prove that you are not afraid. Do not try to prove anything.

Do not be afraid in the first place. And do not promulgate fear. Be careful about warning others about what you fear. Fear promotes fear. Remember the story about the little red hen who sincerely thought the sky was falling. Do not be a fear-monger.

When you see a fire, yell “Fire!” and run for the exit. Do not yell, “Fire!” ahead of time. This is what you have often done. All the terrible things that could happen. There could always be a fire, beloveds.. Come from the predilection of No Fire.

Are not your thoughts powerful? Negative thoughts carry their seeds with them. Positive thoughts as well. Remind yourself to carry powerful high-vibration thoughts and abandon powerful low vibration thoughts. You shudder to think of impending doom. How do you feel when you think of Heaven and Me? Pretty good, I would say. Place your bets where you want them to be.

You have a choice as to which end of the pool you dive in. You have a choice as to which chair to sit in. You have a choice to lead your thoughts. They don’t have to lead you.

Beloveds, when all is said and done, you are responsible for your thoughts. You are not a weather vane that blows in the wind. Be more like an anchor. Anchor your thoughts where they work well for you.

You do not choose for yourself alone. Your thoughts are not secluded. Your thoughts are like a computer key that you press, and your thoughts are impressed upon the universe. Voiced or unvoiced, your thoughts are impulses of electricity that reach far. You are a wireless, beloveds. Do not just pass on messages that are given to you. Originate healthy messages.

What message do you send on the airwaves today? If you were given the privilege of standing on a mountain top and saying something for the whole world to hear, what would you say? Would you say, “Watch out!” or would you say, “The blessings of God are upon us.”

Perhaps you would say: “The sun is shining. Join me on this mountain top. The view is marvelous.”

 

KNOCK, KNOCK....A Writing Exercise

Hello Mary
I think it's about time
that we--meaning you and I
get something straight
This is the last time
you kiss me goodnight
after a completely lovely
romantic
polite date
I refuse to go home alone
one more night
with only my politeness
and virtues on hold
Absurdly tense
with formalism's solemn face
looking back at me
in the rear view mirror every night
Tossing
and turning
with visions of sweet submission
holding me tight
Waiting patiently
no, impatiently
until the time is right
Nada anotha nice hug goodbye
neither a courteous kiss--
a longing sigh
a devious wink
partially suggestive
of your dangerously sexy eye
The glutton in me
is begging to be free
ready to spend an eternity
exploring thee
I need to see
what it is you see
when you close that door
and lock it
tightly behind me
No more mystery
Hospitality...
save it for another day
Let's throw caution to the wind
and let glutton have her way

I don't wanna be

just

your friend no more

KEYS TO MY HEART, PART 2

It was a long flight to Los Angeles.  I didn't know why I had accepted the position to do a training course so far away from all my friends.  Maybe deep inside, I wanted to get away.  This gave me freedom to think, and make a move where everyone wouldn't be suspect of me.   I love Gina with all my heart, but I think she is so overbearing sometimes.  We get to this place.  And freeze.  Almost like it's a danger ahead sign coming up, that only one of us sees.  Mostly her.  I mean, I know I'm a very outgoing person, and it might look like I'm cheating, but I never have.  It frustrates me to be accused of something I'm not doing.  Almost makes me wanna do it.  I settle down in my seat, put my head back, and close my eyes.  The music, along with this pleasant feeling of calm just soothes me.  I think about her.  I miss her already.  What is it about absence that makes the heart grow fonder.  The way she is, when she is loving, is worth all the stress we go through. 

Take for instance, my birthday.  She made sure I had a blast, and a half.   We had discussed what we were gonna do--invite friend over for a cozy dinner, and retire afterwards.  So, that's what I planned for.  No surprises, right.  Now we live near the hottest black gay spot in the whole US of A. which is Atlanta.  And, She managed to get Gladys Knight to sing, in our home.  Don't ask me how she did it, but she did.  Everyone was so surprised, and told me I better keep that woman, because she had potential to make the rest of my days just as thrilling.  I loved how she was so spontaneous.  So upbeat.  Never let things get her down, and my happiness was always the 'bottom line'.  I felt safe in that aspect.  So, why am I on a flight, moving away from her, for 90 days, and perhaps, for good?  I don't know. 

I pick my bags up, and head for my car.  They have my accommodations when I get to the office.  This is a nice place out here.   Might as well get used to it; I'm gonna be here for a while.  I plan to shop, and sightsee when I'm not working.  After I get settled in, I'm gonna find a club to go to. A girl needs to unwind after working like a slave all day.  Get my drink on, you know...

I got to my room, opened the door, and it was beautiful inside.  But, no smell of food, and no indication that anyone would be waiting for me, or expecting me.    I put my purse, and keys, down on the table, and walked around the place where I'm supposed to be calling home.  I miss Gina.  Hmmmm.  The only noise is the clicking of my shoes, as I walk across the hardwood floor.  Down the hall to my bedroom.  I stop at the door, leaning up against it.  I stepped out of my shoes, walked over to the bed, crawled up in it, and lay flat on my back.  A thousand memories came flashing back.  Everything I went through, to get to this place in my life.  To have it all, and in the shadows is someone who I can't get along with.  I stayed there, in the quietness, for endless moments.....until my phone rang.  I jumped up to go get it out my purse.  Who could this be?  I picked it up, looked at the name.  Gina.  I sigh.  "Hello Gina, I made it out here.  I'm in my room"   'Good, I was just worried about you.  I mean, I knew you would be okay, but I wanted to make sure you got out there safely.  I don't intend to bother you, I promise.  It...ahhh just hit me, that you're really gone.  I can handle this, I really can.'   "Look, Baby, I miss you already too.  For the first time, in a long time, I have no one to come home to.  When I walked in here, there was no sign of life, food cooking, or your smell in the place.  So, I am adjusting, too"   ' You really miss that?  Wow.  My test is gonna come, at night, and when we used to shop together, and hang out with our friends.  Now I know not to look for you, and I can't accuse you of cheating.  LOL.  Cuzzzzz you're thousands of miles away, and......sigh.....you're on your time now'  

"Gina, it might not take as long as you think.  After I get things worked out, I'm planning on coming back.  This is not home, for me.  I don't know anyone out here, not even the people I will be working with.  The company thought I would be the best choice, and I jumped on it.  We needed time apart.  Don't you agree?"   ' I have to.  And, you could have just broken it off, instead of giving us time apart, so for that--I thank you.  I hope this time apart helps us.   I don't want nobody but you.  I love you, Brenda.  I love you so much.  Okay, before you hang up, I'm gonna go now.  Just making sure my girl got there safe, and you are, so I'm good.  If you think about me, call me; you know how to get me. Okay, lata.  Be good.  Knock em out out there, you hear me?'  "Gina, I can feel the fear in your voice; I know you.  But, we gonna be alright. okay?  Just take care of you, and tell my , well our, friends, I said a girl is doing it.  Okay, time to get settled in.  Talk to you soon.  Be sweet.  Make sure you eat right, and stay away from the fast food.  LOL.  Bye Baby"  I hang up. 

Caught myself, lying there, reminiscing again, so I jumped up, took all my clothes off, and headed for the shower.  Turned the water on.  Adjusted it to just about as hot as I could stand.  Stepped over into the stream of steamy water, and let it run down on my body, christening me.   Cleansing my soul.  Tilting my head bac, I allowed it to cascade down my face, blending with the trails of tears that I could now, finally let flow.  It wasn't a sadness.  It was a release.  Of so much pressure.  So much that was wrong.  I was letting all the bottled up pain wash away from me. 

My body felt like mine again.  I cupped my breasts, and let beads of water beat against my nipples, hardening them.  I started to massage them both, sending waves of excitement all over my body.  Tingles of temptation that only Gina could fulfill.  But, she wasn't here.  It was just me, and this urge I have....to be satisfied.  I closed my eyes, and started at my face.  washing, and massaging.  Waking up every sense I had in my face.  Moving down to my neck, and shoulders.  I reached up to take the shower head, and aim the jet spray of water between my legs, by lifting one leg up, and open.  Mmmm.  Nice.  My clit throbbed, against the impact.  Didn't take long to arouse my own self.  I rinsed off, stepped out the shower, and dried off.  I was really wanting her now.  My nipples were calling her name, as was my pussy.  I ran my hands all down my body, remembering so many times, before we even dried off, we were kissing, and licking each other.  She never waited til I dried off.  She even would take me in the shower, or just as I stepped out.  We would have to just say 'time out' to get some sleep.  The tingling all over me, was calling me. 

I made sure the place was locked up, and headed for bed.  There, in my own pace, and for my own pleasure, I made love to myself.  I called out my own name, as I came.  Feeling Gina's hands on me with my eyes closed, I did things that I knew she loved to do to me.  I'm not sure how long I unleashed this need of mine, but I do know, my body missed me.  Missed my fingers, my hands.  My command.  I lay motionless, as sleep called me.  Felt so serene, that I just drifted off......