Dealing With INternet Stalkers....A Writing Exercise

 

Why do you persist in following me across the web? I have told you there is no way I would have a relationship online.  I don't care how much you see me comment on sites, or how much you send me these crazy ass messages.  I have reported you for abuse, several times, and it's only a matter of time before they catch up with you.  So, why don't you give it up.  I am happily involved.  Can't you get that through your head?..."  This was the last message I sent to her.  She stopped writing.  I didn't see her comments anymore.  Nothing.  I thought it was over with.  I breathed a sigh of relief.  Maybe her ISP had been disabled, and she was reprimanded, legally.  Either way, I got so tired of my friends asking me who was that asking about me, and asking them questions about me.  I could only tell them, my 'stalker'

She went out of her way to go to my friends page, add them, and open a dialogue with them, and slowly introduce her relationship with me.  Like she was my wife, or something.  Yeah, she gave them details, like where I lived, where I went to college, my jobs.  She even knew the car I drove, and my siblings names, and where they lived.  So, my friends thought it was on the up and up.  Thought I was just a player, because I hid her from them.  She gained their pity, and a thorn in my side.  Every page I went to, she would visit, coming back to tell me, that that woman I'm flirting with, is not available, and she would expose me as her woman if I didn't cease communications with her, immediately.  She was bossy about it, too.  Leaving messages on my side comments, like, "wasssup baby, talk to you when I get home", or, "remembering last night, and I still got chills".  I erased them as soon as I saw them, but who knows who else saw them...  She would write love poems on her page, and invite my established friends to her page, and 'tell them' she was writing for me.  And, she hoped I loved it.  SMH.  She told me she would have me, and no bytch online could give me the love I was looking for, better than her.  She always promised that she knew exactly what I needed.  She sent me a file , which was a clip of her masturbating, while she was talking to me.  Telling me what I had to look forward to. 

I won't say it didn't turn me on, though.  She talked that rough shyt like I like when I'm in the mix; telling me that once I got her--I wouldn't need anyone else.  I watched her play with her nipples, pinching them so hard, it looked like it hurt.  She used a vibrator, and a dildo when penetrating herself.  And she'd gradually increase the speed of the vibrator while screaming my name, louder, and louder.  She knew it fukked me up in the head.  When she came, she would lick the dicks off like someone was licking a cake mix bowl, after mixing a cake.  I could hear the slurping sounds too clear.  I was mesmerized as she massaged her body, kinda like a kitten does when it's washing itself...and I had to turn away.  She'd finish with, 'I love you baby, and one day, I'm gonna prove it'.  Freaked me the Hell out.

Almost one month to the last time I heard from her, I got up early, before work, to sign on.  I stumbled to the pc, with coffee in tow.  Sat down to log on...jakuper20032000, *&^%$$##@....I am connected.  I open my mail first.  300 new messages--WTH!  This must be an error.  How could I get that many messages, overnight?  I didn't even think about that crazy fukka at all..until I opened the first one...an invitation to a party....

WHAT: AN ENGAGEMENT PARTY
WHEN:  OCTOBER 12, 2006
WHERE: 1642 SKYLARK DRIVE
TIME:   7:30 PM

*bring only yourself, and an open mind.  I've invited all your friends from every site, even your family

I wish this crazy ass bitch would just leave me alone.  I opened up another message.  An invitation.  Another...and another. I opened 10 messages, and they were all invitations.  I snapped. This has gone too far.  She has already made my friends think I'm the worst liar, now she involving my family, and telling them we are getting engaged.  When Hell freezes over.  I copy one message, and report it as abuse, and tell them that I have 299 more in my in box.  Then I am so mad, I just sign off.  This will end tonight.  I refuse to live my life in the shadows of someone who has no life, but to latch on, like a hermit, destroying another's life.  I been warned about internet stalkers, but I never thought it would happen to me.  

The phone rings as I'm getting in the shower, and I let the answering machine get it.  After drying off, I check the message.  It's my sister. "Hi girl.  I didn't know things were that serious with TJ.  So you really gonna do it this time, huh.  Look forward to seeing you tonight.  Me, and Rita gonna get you for not letting us in on the secret before now.  I thought sisters are supposed to share everything.  Check Ya, Girl.  Can we bring our own drink"  GRRRRRRR.  This will never happen!   I dress, and at 9am when the pawn shop opens, I will be there.  I never shot anyone in my life, but if I I'm gonna have any peace, I have to do what I gotta do. 

"Good Morning, Ma'am, what can I help you with today.  We have some nice DVD players that just came in.  Nice price, too."  I'm looking for a small, powerful gun.  I have been having break-in's in my apartment complex, and I need to be protected.  I live alone.  What do you have, that's clean , and reasonable?  "This here is the Luger.  A beauty for a fine female like yourself.  It is a locked breech, magazine fed, semi-automatic pistol that when fired, stops your victim in their tracks.  Let me sell it to you today.  Only $150.  A steal, just for you."  I'll take it, and I'm gonna need some ammo; I'm hoping I won't have to use it, but, if it comes between me, and my life....BAM.  You outta here.  I finish my purchase, filling out papers, and leave. 

I run a few more errands, have lunch by myself, thinking about tonight.  I can't even eat.  I pay my check, and leave.  I drive around for a while, thinking, praying, hoping I don't have to kill this bytch; hoping it's all a silly game.  But, I refuse to knuckle down to a psycho.  I turn down Vine Street and just happen to look in my mirror, and who is this following me...  I take another left on Southern, and they're still there.  I try to speed up, making two more rights, and in my rear view mirror, they right there.  Looks like a dude with a cap on.  I won't take any chances.  At the next light, I load my gun, just like the guy showed me.  And, place it under my seat.   I keep driving, and checking my mirror.  Now, I know I'm not crazy. 

I wink at him.  They wink back.  I lower my head, like I'm flirting, by nodding yes, it's okay to flirt with me.  Still following me.  I mean, about 15 blocks, no cops in sight.  I'm getting worried now.  I don't see anyone I know.  My stomach starts to churn.  I know this is a situation I got here.  I just feel like this fool has found out where I live, and is following me.  That would explain how they know what I got in my house, where I shop, the perfume I wear.  Even where I pay my cell phone bill at.   Okay, so what am I gonna do?  I'm not gonna run anymore.  Tired of going around and around, afraid to go back to my own house.  Why wasn't I afraid before now?  Why wasn't I more aware of what was going on around me?  I will be more careful with giving out personal information online, to anyone from now on.  Even though I think I trust these people, there could be some freak on my page, like this one, waiting to make me risk all I have for some sick ideas he has.  No more personal information on my pages, I promise. 

 My heart is beating faster.  I know something is about to happen. 
I pull over to an empty General Dollar parking lot.  They must open at 10, since no one is here.  I wait.  The car pulls in behind me, a few spaces back.  I'm looking at them in my rear view mirror, smiling.  They get out.  I can tell by the walk, that it's a woman.  She has stonewashed jeans on, a Braves baseball cap , and a white tee.  With my name on it.. WHAT THE FUKK?  It's her.  She walks towards my car, smiling.  I get my gun ready.  She seems like she walking in slow motion, with that smirk on her face.  I'm so frightened, I can feel my knees shaking.  She leans over in the car, and whispers in my ear,"Let's go home, Baby.  I'm gonna fuck you, like you never been fucked.  You will be mine tonight.  What she say that for?  I lost all reasoning. 

I didn't say a word.  It was like everything happened in slow motion.  She was laughing at me.  You know how they make a laugh in slow motion in a movie.  I could hear her eerie laughter so loud in my ear.  I could see myself, reaching for my gun, pointing it at her face.  And firing.  Unloading the gun.  All I could hear were shots firing, in my head. I placed the gun down beside me, and covered my ears.  Her bloody body was laying on the ground.  I saw people gathering around me, with frightened looks on their faces..afraid to speak.  In the distance, I could hear sirens. 

I fainted.......