My Soulmate, My Friend

"Everything you can imagine is real."

The first time I saw you cry..and instinctively I reached out
to hug you...to dry your eye
The things we did to benefit our future
and to be like those who we thought were truly happy
We created our own War Room long before the movie could describe prayer
or make us sigh & cry....
before we realized parts of us must die
I didn't start to do things different to impress you;
it was the deepest part of me trying to mentally address you
saying "hey, we think alike"
Inside, we look just alike
You are my sister from the Best Father
We got our nurturing from a Blessed mother

"Imagination is more important than knowledge"

Not one day or night shared was wasted
We taught each other

'You can't change what you can't confront. '

We gleamed from each other
We defied odds
We laughed like clowns
We held each other down
and when one of us was gone,
it wasn't too far away

"Everything changes; nothing dies."

We discovered every type of love
dropped on us from above

"The most important thing that you can do on this planet -
elevate, transform and illumine your own consciousness."

We never needed permission to be
We just lived in the lap
of life's learning luxury
We are real
We are nailed
We opened a door
We linked
as soulmates
We exited with a creed...

"Work out your own salvation.
Do not depend on others."

The Reality Of It All

The Reality Of It All

Ever had feelings that took over your thoughts
hourly, daily, monthly, year after year...
 wantin to be touched, tickled actually,
tickled inside so hard that you shed a tear
Catching your breath momentarily
as you're wanting to reach fingers so near
to wanting hands that understand fingers like yours...
and feelings like yours
that care as deep as you do
Exploring emotions  that come running
 right back to you
and they ache...activating the ponder...
is she feeling this too

You don't want to own it
You just wanted to row on the boat of love
with both oars in the water
You with one, on one side
and she with the other across from you
peddling for dear life,
peddling for dear love
peddling for dear friendship
(if that's what it came down to)
peddling for ever companionship
unconditional wantings to be there
 for you

  I know it supposed to be feelings
for a husband,
but mine, Lord, are for a wife.
Just to be her ally,
in the ups 'and' downs of life
 A woman about it,
a prayer warrior
when you need to come out with it,
a  partner against the world when you doubt it,
a familiar face to reminisce with
 working out what we dream to be in it
..each one coming true..with the physical you
I love to arrest your real thoughts,
see what you saying,
feel it in every touch..and love it
like that cute couple swaying & playing
How can anyone say you're not what I need? 
If we click so well now 
just give us a chance to connect on the real
Come and give your feelings to me
to the point of it all making us a deal
of loving the spontanaity of it all
You know what--
if you never love me again
if you didn't like me then
I coulda took a no to love
but I still wanted our friendship
your advice, your encouragement
and to deal with what happened if we said no
that first night
Nevertheless...where we would be today
is where you'd be just a blessing
or a lesson....we both learned

Welcome Home

Welcome Home



"I built this house
I turned it into a home
And that was my vision
I built this house
Just like a wise woman
A woman who builds a house on a foundation of a rock
Not like a foolish woman
Who builds a house
On a sand"
~Vangile Mtyali~




I  have faith in you
I  respect you

I  love you

I  honor your space in the building...
the building that is called my heart
I  honor everyone that made it possible for us to be here today
for one woman's trash...is another woman's treasure
and I  can truly say today...it's my pleasure

I  open this program with a song
If loving you is right
how can I  go wrong

The history in this
is the mystery in this
consider the Sun setting
in windows that rain and snow is wetting
then consider the shelter from those storms
called your eyes that keep me warm
A love so much like paradise
that it makes even the vagabond
always, always have a home inside

In some rooms the measurements look a little off,
and people say this house couldn't have stood
but if they only knew if I  had to remodel it for you....I  would
Do they know this foundation is built
on unsinking sand
and faith-platformed deep stilts
For you....I  give myself away
my house has become a home...
now that you decided to stay
For you..I  can never deny
how your love makes me emerge
from this dimly lit crawl spaces
built by  I
I  have faith in you
I  respect you

I  love you

Welcome Home







jakuper (2/2/13)

Prayer Going Into 2013

“This, then, is how you should pray:
“‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,  your kingdom come, your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.   Give us today our daily bread.   And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.   And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one....for thine is the kingdom  the power, and the glory forever and forever, Amen

Heavenly Father,


Today is a new day, one we never seen before, and one we will never see again. We bless you as we come humbly upon the day that is a crossover to another year in time. We have no idea what is in store for us, but we bring our cares to you...to place them at your feet. As we step to your throne, we ask for forgiveness for our transgressions, omissions, iniquities, and sins that keeps this prayer from going all the way to you. In the name of Jesus we humble out hearts, our nerves, and our earthly resistance because we know that only your will will be done either way. We can submit to it, or become a result of it.

Thank you for this year, how you've been with us, pursued us, protected us, spared us, wooed us, healed us, chastised us, directed and comforted us up to this point. We see no reason to rest in your leading us the rest of the way. What you started in us, please Lord, finish it. What you see in us, let us see; not how we see us...because we only see lack, and feel lack. If the big picture were blown up in front of us every day, I wonder would it make us run to you more often. If we could see the danger you keep us from, on the highways, in the grocery stores, in our neighborhoods, even in our own minds, and the way you gently nudge us to the safety of the day....would we love you more? I pray we learn to. I pray we make it a point to thank you more, to ask for guidance more, and to believe in ourselves like you believe in us. We are all living beneath our privilege. Just like you chose your disciples randomly, we are chosen randomly because what each of us are gifted with can help the other. We ask for our irons to be sharpened, first by you, and then as we open up and share with each other, and that the glory, the praise, and the blessing be counted to your kingdom.

It becomes so easy when you take the wheel, when you know what we need, and we say, "fix it Jesus" and when we say it, you know how we need what we need to put where we need it to bring us joy like never before, like no other man or woman can give. We ask for things, but it is so beautiful when we let you bless us with what you see fit, for then we can be happy doing your will, living in your light, and getting every need in our life met right. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Teach us to be grateful. Teach us to love one another...simply because if you are in us, you are love...and we are love. Be with us, Lord...we've gotten used to looking around and feeling you, and looking for you....even when we do that which displeases you, like a child we come back and ask for forgiveness because it is a privilege. We never have to be separated, and I'm glad that door is not what's going to keep us from you. if we lose our bid to be with you, it's our own fault. Not of alienation, because you said whosoever comes to you,you will in no ways cast out.

Thank you for the door that only has a handle on our side...for you stand, knocking endlessly...unconditionally, and eternally. Now that's some love. Would that we could love each other like this. But you know us, and we are a work in progress, Lord, and so we are here...another morning, the last morning of another year......saying thank you, and walk with us into this day...and into 2013.

These blessings we ask in your name, and in 'total praise' to you, Amen

Key In.....Key Out

I need to tell you how I really feel...

maybe you'll listen to this:

key in...key out

thank you for dummying me out
a different kind of communication, I'm sure
resembling a sort of celebration...brand
trying to understand
....just who got who's back
and hand
how trying to understand everything
is forgiving everything
........
or, is it?

Tuesday....weather partly cloudy
don't forget them umbrellas though....cause it's gonna rain
rain...raining on my head from life's ceiling
to some.....called Heaven's healing
wind echoing sentiments back and forth
like a hug that was meant
But Sunday and Monday...
where were you
" Every relationship between two individuals
or two groups will be characterized by the ratio of secrecy
that is involved in it. "
Georg Simmel


Neither of us can get it right
some days there is light
and some days light is hidden
from our shifty eyes
Sometimes, foolishly, I let my heart hold the pen
and let it decide
and I just go for the ride
Today I woke up
I was healthy
I was happy
I was warm
and I was loved
'and it all came from above'
(I take none of this for granted)
and I said I got to do this thing right
Sometimes the wrong choices
bring us around to the right places
even though we flow with egg on our face
and it absolutely sucks to realize
you rejected other people
for that one person
that wasted your time

Now...I'm just like my key....
maybe now you will see

key in...key out






jakuper (10/27/12)

GO TO HELL

"what seek ye?"

"Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God,
if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee."
Acts 8:22

Recreant pages ripped,
tricky tempers torn,
devious plots crumbled
just like dreams mumbled...and fumbled
Pieces of King James quotes to keep the heart afloat
yet none of them helped because you kept saying
'not yet, I got time'
I can stop this whirlwind
on a dime,
on time,
in time"

This life..it's mine.....
'not yet, I got time'
I'm doing just fine
One of these days I will stop
on a dime'....
but instead of being empowered by small changes
and seeking answers within
I was becoming an audience of one
a sucker trying to lick my own sin

"Be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world"

When He said, "My grace is sufficient for thee,
for my strength is made perfect when you become weak"
why did you laugh in religious quander
refusing to put your ego and pride asunder
You didn't have to bathe in seared centered silliness
using a washcloth of contemptible unwillingness,
spiritualizing instead of sanctifying
for when insecurity turned evil
there was no denying
competing against self
proved bad for your unjustified health

" Therefore, there is now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus,
who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit"

Infestered you were in double talk
not walking the walk
when you are given the chalk
....daily
to avoid deceitful cowardly detours
saying, 'not yet, I got time'
I can stop this whirlwind
on a dime,
on time,
in time"

When those plans are thwarted
and you...still refusing to turn loose
that guileful party 'you' started
that leaves the ....... brokenhearted,
apologies are spread like Blue Bonnet margarine
making a mockery of a messy slick scene
Here you go again...crying
'I can stop this whirlwind
on a dime,
on time,
in time'

'Can I have a little more time?'
Knock, knock, knock, it's for you
'Please don't tell me my life is through'
There's no more time
to do what you had all your life
and so many chances to do
'But I'm sorry, and I love you'
Your reward for disregarding the benefits of obedience
humility, mercy, time, and grace
is to never to see
your Saviors face
In your life...you had a ball
Now bow for your last curtain call
With you so many others fail
to believe the final date with unheeded advice
is.......GO TO HELL!







jakuper(10/23/12)

Flamboyant Confession

In rapt obsession,
and flamboyant confession
in fevered veneration
she used me
...
she used what I had,
she used what I did to her to stoke her sensual fireplace
using dusky scourges of willing hands
and willing tongue
to repeatedly plunge plunge plunge
deep deep deeper
tingling inside
as everything inside me
went haywire
and I was so sure
I wanted to keep her

" Where perception is,
there also are pain and pleasure,
and where these are,
there, of necessity,
is desire. "


Facing her
between brunet thighs
and feverishly escalated sighs
with that crooked cocky grin
as my tongue played fetch,
I hungered greedily to catch...
that flavor again
for my parch
was just as strong
as that arch she had going on,
rounds going higher
and higher
cresting to a almost satiated rise
of that loud throb
[boo boom boo boom boom boom boomboom]
of her aphoristic knob
Ears shreiking,
defenses weakening
as liquid pain gasps to profanities leaking,
embrace politeness in mili-seconds intervals
wanting to say...it was a slip,
it was she
just being freed from the bondage
of a unusually academic crepuscular grip

Sure you got flipped,
sure those were my locs you gripped
while your fleshly fountain dripped
Now let them walls hear
another avalanche of metaphoric chills
that make me run for the hills
then....when you can,
breathe a sigh of relief
....
tell self how you were just treated
like a theif
drifting back and forth across the back alleys
of leaf and limb
while yells and wails
from seduced finger trails
crippled your inner fights

Deep deep deep
inside the tissues of your silken ears
and against the pursuasion
of your supercilious pompous peers
and stirred by the slave that never stopped to fight
I applaud you giving it up to me
because certainly
that was my pussy last night!










jakuper
(10/23/12)